VO: The nation's favorite celebrities...

There's a fact for you.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... We're like a girl band!

VO: ..and a classic car.

Give it some juice, Myrie, give it some juice.

VO: Their mission to scour Britain for antiques.

I'm brilliant at haggling.

Who knew?

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

I can't believe that!

VO: But it's no easy ride.

What's that smell?

The clutch!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

That's very art deco, innit?

VO: Take the biggest risk?

It's half toy, it's half furniture.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

That's irrelevant.

VO: There will be worthy winners... VO: ..and valiant losers.

No!

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

Woohoo!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Cuckoo!

MUSIC: "I Predict A Riot" by Kaiser Chiefs VO: Steady!

It's a brand new trip with the kings of witty repartee... Are you a competitive person?

Am I gonna be watching out... ..for the knives in my back?

I'm here to, em, hammer you into the ground.

VO: ..comedians and great chums, Rufus Hound and Chris McCausland.

I'm here to be your arch nemesis.

Right.

OK. You're the Thanos to my Iron Man, are you?

I'm the Thermos flask to your what?

VO: Comedian Rufus is a regular on British TV and radio, and he's also a hugely successful actor in London's theater circuit.

Chris is a stand up comedian from northern England, and has been wowing audiences for nearly 20 years.

I can feel the competitive urges in me bubbling up, mate.

Right, OK. Well, fine, in that case, it's on like Donkey Kong.

RUFUS: You're going down.

VO: Listen to them roar!

VO: Accompanying them today are top notch dealers, super chic Margie Cooper and cool cat Ochuko Ojiri.

OCHUKO: I have to say, you look so elegant, laid back there... MARGIE: Well, I don't feel it.

I feel as though I'm going to fall asleep, Ochuko... Oh, dear!

VO: This 1980s Lotus Esprit is similar to the one featured in the James Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me.

Can it do any tricks, this car?

Watch.

Watch.

Look forward.

OCHUKO: Woo!

Well, there you go!

He's got little peepy eyes.

Winking at us.

Oh, I love that.

I'd be doing that all day, every day.

VO: Proper nifty!

And what about the nifty 1960s Triumph Spitfire?

RUFUS: It's basically like a lion in a tin can.

CHRIS: Yeah.

RUFUS: When I press the accelerator, it just throws petrol into a box and then the car does this.

Like...wahey!

CHRIS: Yeah.

VO: Let's get stuck in.

We're gearing towards a showdown auction in West Sussex.

But before that excitement, we'll be exploring Liverpool and surrounds.

We kick off the shopping frenzy in Birkenhead... VO: ..at Amorini Antiques & Craft Emporium.

There's three floors and 10 rooms full of delights of all sorts.

Armed with 400 smackeroos each, may the shopping commence.

Ochuko.

Mr Rufus Hound.

RUFUS: How are you, sir?

OCHUKO: How are you, sir?

RUFUS: Yeah, good, man!

Well, this is very exciting.

I'm glad it's you.

I thought I was going to get stuck with somebody in a bow tie telling me about brown furniture.

I couldn't do it.

RUFUS: Couldn't do it.

OCHUKO: Ain't going to happen.

VO: What's wrong with a bow tie?

What stuff do you like?

I think it would be good to try and find things that I can imagine wanting to buy in an auction.

That's the key to it.

100%.

RUFUS: Not just things you like.

OCHUKO: I'm looking at this.

RUFUS: Wow.

It's got that oriental feel.

The bright, bright, vibrant colors.

RUFUS: Yeah.

OCHUKO: And it's got age to it.

RUFUS: Does somebody want to shell out 200 nicker for it... No.

RUFUS: Which is what would occur to me!

Shall we go and have a look?

Yeah, yeah, let's go.

VO: Meanwhile, in the depths of this vast shop, we have a Chris and a Margie.

Lovely to meet you, Margie.

And you, too.

I'm up for this.

I'll give you a heads up.

I know nothing.

I know absolutely nothing.

That's no problem.

What antiques do you think we should...

It's all down to you at the moment.

I read, eh, two weeks ago... MARGIE: Yeah.

..that, em, a sealed copy of Mario 64 from 1997 sold... MARGIE: Yeah.

CHRIS: ..for $1.5 million... Oh, right.

Well, we're looking for one of those then...

So I think we should forget this old vase stuff, and I think we should be looking for some Nintendo cartridges.

Well, so were you into all that sort of thing?

Yeah.

When I was younger because my eyesight deteriorated so I used to play loads of computer games when I was a kid.

VO: Chris' sight loss means that it'll be up to Margie to spot any potential purchases.

Vases, which you obviously adore.

CHRIS: I...I love them.

MARGIE: Well, there's a pair.

CHRIS: OK.

There's a pair.

They're Japanese Cloisonne, which is very clever, very intricate.

It's enamel... ..inlaid into copper.

CHRIS: OK.

There's a dent on here.

I mean, this feels like I've owned it...

When you sell them at auction... MARGIE: Yeah.

..do you need to show everybody both sides?

CHRIS: I mean, it's nice.

MARGIE: Yeah.

But it's not as exciting as a samurai sword, is it?

Ooh, I think you're going to be difficult, aren't you?

Are there any samurai swords in the shop?

VO: Who knows?

But this looks interesting.

CHRIS: Margie?

MARGIE: Yeah.

CHRIS: What...what is, um...?

MARGIE: Oh, now that's nice.

MARGIE: You've got nice taste.

CHRIS: What's this?

MARGIE: It's a letter stand that you'd put in a house, whereby people would put their letters in and a maid would drop the front down and collect them and take them to the post.

It's been handmade, it's arts and crafts, and it's been beautifully carved.

It's oak, and er... it probably could be Scottish, which makes it rather nice.

CHRIS: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, it'd be... MARGIE: It's very nice that, Chris.

CHRIS: It's got a good, em... MARGIE: Feel about it.

CHRIS: Yeah.

All depends on how much it is, Chris.

How much is it?

CHRIS: Well, there's a bit of paper in the back.

MARGIE: Yeah.

Ticket.

Yeah... CHRIS: Is this the price?

Yeah, the ticket says... Oh, lore.

Go on.

MARGIE: 195.

CHRIS: 195.

MARGIE: There's no way.

I reckon we can go in hard on this.

CHRIS: I reckon...

I'm feeling cheeky.

Oh, go...well, go on then.

Look, it's your...

This is your day.

What do you reckon it would go for at auction?

Well, it'll be... You know, under 100.

I'll say 60.

Well, go ahead, do... Yeah.

By all means.

OK. VO: He's bold, isn't he?

Carole?

Carole?

VO: Well, it is a big shop, you know.

CHRIS: Carole!

CAROLE: Yeah, I'm coming... VO: Brace yourself, Carole.

CAROLE: Hello, Chris.

CHRIS: Hello.

I like this.

Yes, it's very nice.

Oh, it's missing a key.

CAROLE: It is missing a key... MARGIE: Ooooh.

CHRIS: It's missing a key.

But it's all hand-carved beautifully.

You see... We've got to make a profit on this.

Eh, remind me what price it is.

CHRIS: It says 195.

CAROLE: OK. CHRIS: So I reckon you could take... MARGIE: Go on.

CHRIS: ..60 lovely pounds for this...

I can't see the expression on your face, but I'm guessing... Well... Well, it's one of shock horror.

CHRIS: It's one of shock and horror?

Oh.

What about £90?

I mean, look at it, it op... "Sell me.

Sell me.

"Sell me to Chris..." "80!"

Well, how about 85?

If I split the difference with you, we'll make it 85... MARGIE: We'll go for that cuz it's worth... CHRIS: Deal!

VO: Unusual but effective skills, Chris.

What a generous lady!

Thanks, Carole.

While Chris searches for more, where's Rufus?

This is interesting.

Prosthetic hand set.

Right, looking at it, you can see this display has been made.

So somebody's had this to display all the different hands.

It's World War II.

What I love about this...

I mean, it's a totally unusual, quirky item.

VO: By the end of both world wars, the evolution of prosthetics took a rapid advancement.

With a rough estimate of 50,000 amputees, it was the first time artificial limbs were mass produced.

It was crucial to enable servicemen to get back to work.

OCHUKO: So let's get this out.

RUFUS: Is that a double...?

Yeah.

And then you put the tools... Like, there's a hammer in there.

Or there's, you know, so you'd put that in there.

RUFUS: This is unreal.

I mean... OCHUKO: Yeah.

Have we got enough money for that have we?

Right.

This is the thing.

So it looks like it's the whole set.

£695.

And it would be a massive risk.

People that collect this stuff collect curio.

You know, they collect unusual things.

Quirky, unusual, slightly macabre, I would say...items.

RUFUS: Yeah.

But there's a lot of people that love this stuff.

VO: Hang on.

It's nearly £700!

RUFUS: We're either going to go down in history... OCHUKO: Which is possible... RUFUS: ..as, like, these guys... ..made 10 grand, it was unreal.

They found this second hand...

Literally, second hand second-hand set.

Whereas, if we go in with an ornament or something like that...it's, like... OCHUKO: It's tricky.

I've got to be really real with you, and I'll give you my honest opinion.

It could end at £50.

It could end at 1,500.

VO: Talk about high risks.

Crumbs.

OCHUKO: I'm leaving it.

It's all...it's all on you.

RUFUS: Is it?

OCHUKO: I'm... Look, watch this.

OK. You're making it my decision are you?

Yeah.

RUFUS: Well that's probably just as well, because if there's one thing I'm famous for, it's not rushing into a decision without having really thought it... Yeah, I'm joking, we're totally buying it.

Loads of money.

VO: And you only have £400.

Blimey, steady yourself, Carole.

RUFUS: Hello.

CAROLE: Oh, hello.

RUFUS: We are rather interested in buying this.

It's currently a lot of money.

CAROLE: It is, yes.

Em, but, I mean, where would you get another one of these?

It's quite exceptional.

What's the best price you can do?

I think the best I can do probably is 450.

RUFUS: 450.

CAROLE: Yeah.

I'm just going to talk to my business partner... ..one second.

He says, "What about 300?"

300?

RUFUS: Yeah.

CAROLE: That's... Don't blame me.

I mean, you know what he's like.

I'm very cool about all of this, but this guy... About 380.

RUFUS: These are from the 1998 England squad.

Tony Adams.

If we see Tony, we're buying the hands.

Happy with that?

OCHUKO: Yeah.

VO: It's flip a coin time.

Oh... Oh, yes.

Well done... RUFUS: The hands have it.

Hey!

VO: 380 smackers just like that.

Loving your derring-do, Rufus.

Also excited to see how you spend the remaining £20.

Back inside... CHRIS: Hey!

VO: ..how's Chris getting on?

CHRIS: Margie?

MARGIE: Yeah?

CHRIS: Look what I've found.

What is it?

It feels like something, Napoleonic.

I don't know what this bit is, it's got a twiddly bit.

Well, all I know is it's a replica, isn't it?

Oh.

Tell you what I have found.

Do you know what a swagger stick is?

CHRIS: No.

MARGIE: Used in the military... OK. ..whereby the sergeant major or the officer would have it tucked under his arm.

And this is quite an interesting one.

It's the King's Regiment with the Egypt crest.

So it's when they were in Egypt, which I think was around about 1915, 1920, some time like that.

VO: For centuries, the swagger stick was an emblem of authority within the military.

But after World War II, the use started to fade until they became obsolete.

MARGIE: Right, the metal bit.

The other, the big bit at the other end.

Right?

MARGIE: Stick it under your arm.

Get yourself...Ahem!

CHRIS: Yeah.

This reminds me of having my photo taken as a kid.

I'd always stand to attention with a bright red face because I'd be so tensed, all the blood would rush into my face, cuz I'm...

Were you good at school?

CHRIS: I did A-levels, computers and maths cuz I liked it.

MARGIE: Oh my goodness!

And then I did software engineering at uni - which was computers.

Right.

And just as I was becoming the world's greatest computer programmer, my eyesight was always deteriorating.

But it kinda got to the point where everything became quite visual and make it look pretty on the screen.

And I couldn't... MARGIE: So you had to stop?

And erm...I was making some really, really ugly websites.

Oh, dear, dear, dear.

So you had to stop?

Comedy was more like a little dare to myself.

Give it a go.

I was only meant to do it once.

Big dare though.

18 years later, I've got nothing else to fall back on.

MARGIE: Really?

Well you're doing alright.

Em, but, you know, if all this goes well, maybe I can get into the antiques business.

Yeah.

VO: Let's put you to the test then and bag a deal on this swagger stick.

It's priced at £60.

Carole?!

VO: It worked before.

Poor Carole.

CAROLE: Hi Chris.

CHRIS: Carole!

CAROLE: I'm here.

Hello.

CHRIS: I would like to talk to you about this tiny snooker cue.

Em, I've got three tenners with your name written all over them, Carole.

Oh, you do drive a hard bargain.

CHRIS: I'll stick a fiver on it.

CAROLE: OK. Alright... CAROLE: ..are you going to... CHRIS: 35...pounds.

35 makes me a bit happier.

So yes, I'll go with that.

MARGIE: Thank you very much.

CHRIS: Deal!

VO: Crikey.

Chris, you're good at this.

With a total spend of £120, Chris still has 280 to play with.

VO: Meanwhile, Rufus and Ochuko are rocking on in the Triumph.

# The wheels on the bus go round and round # Round and... # Round, round... # Maybe it should be something more antiques-themed.

VO: # The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish, # swish, swish, swish # Love that song!

Now, our melodic duo have powered their way to Woodside on the outskirts of Birkenhead.

RUFUS: Well, a U-534?

Submarine?

Got to be, hasn't it?

Got to be.

VO: At the end of World War II, this submarine refused to surrender.

The reasons for these unexplained actions have fascinated historians and treasure hunters for over 70 years until it was raised from the seabed in 1993.

Dean Paton, director of the Western Approaches museum, has all the intel.

RUFUS: Hey.

DEAN: Hey, how are you doing?

RUFUS: Yeah, good, you?

DEAN: Yeah, good, thanks.

So, Dean, we're in Birkenhead and there's a German submarine here.

RUFUS: Why?

DEAN: The docks at Birkenhead... ..was the kind of heartland of the Battle of the Atlantic.

We've got the Western Approaches Command Centre on one side in Liverpool, and Cammell Laird just a stone's throw from where we are now, which was, you know, producing ships and submarines.

So this sub was raised from the ocean.

And what do you do with a U-boat once you've got it out of the ocean?

You want to put it somewhere symbolic to store it.

So it came to Birkenhead as an historic artefact and it tells the story of the Battle of the Atlantic.

VO: The Battle of the Atlantic was the longest naval campaign of World War II.

It was a fight for Britain's very survival.

The U-boats targeted merchant ships, sailing from North America.

The purpose?

To starve Britain into surrender.

DEAN: So obviously U-boats are hunter killers.

They're generally going out to the Atlantic and trying to take pot shots at convoys.

VO: The menace of the U-boat was so great that even Winston Churchill said, "The only thing that ever frightened me "during the war was the U-boat peril."

U-534 was generally used as a training U-boat first and foremost, but it did come under attack numerous times and managed to shoot down a Wellington, so it was capable and armed and able to do so.

VO: The 52-man crew on board U-534 had the most dangerous job in the German military.

The mortality rate was roughly 75%.

So how come the crew were so young?

Well, certainly for this U-boat, by the end of the war, all the experienced and older men have been killed.

And a sad fact that there just wasn't the experienced crew to staff them.

So there were a lot of men in their teens and early 20s, so it's...it was incredible to think how young they were out at sea.

There must have been some fairly interesting equipment on board, I'm only saying that because we're in front of the Enigma machine.

DEAN: One thing to remember about the Battle of the Atlantic, it was a battle of technological warfare as well, so both sides were advancing as quickly as they can with new technology.

And this U-boat was packed with some of the latest equipment, some really, really interesting prototype.

So when we look at it as a big kind of rusting hull now, actually in its day it was, you know, it was like a stealth bomber or, you know, something of that level of, you know, secret and super, super high-tech.

VO: Liverpool was the nerve center for the Battle of the Atlantic.

And just over the river at Western Approaches Tactical Unit, Britain was garnering its own mighty weapon.

DEAN: So we've got the work of the likes of Western Approaches Tactical Unit, where we get the group of really intelligent young women, who create basically a war game scenario on the floor of Derby House, just over the river.

And they were planning and executing U-boat and anti-U-boat tactics, which every naval captain then had to come in and take this training.

VO: The power and strength of Britain and her allies was gathering such momentum that the end for Nazi Germany was nigh.

On May 5, 1945, all U-boats were ordered to surrender.

U-534 refused.

DEAN: There's a few theories why that might be the case.

You know, from the wild kind of, it was carrying Hitler's gold through to more logical ones, as in it was trying to hide some new technology, which may be on board, or even more likely, that it was carrying some senior-ranking Nazi officers.

VO: Despite not surrendering, U-534 did not escape.

She was hunted down, and once found, her fate was sealed.

DEAN: So they were spotted by a Liberator bomber and 10 depth charges, and the 10th one was a direct hit.

And you can see the, you know, the crumple zone there, where it sent it to the bottom of the sea.

All the men escaped.

One died while surfacing because he wasn't breathing out properly - the technique to kind of ensure that you don't get the bends.

And two died on the surface of exposure to the cold.

VO: U-534 lay at the bottom of the seabed in Danish waters for over 40 years.

She was raised to the surface in 1993, to the excitement of treasure hunters and historians.

So much paperwork and documents come up and survived, and nothing really kind of indicated that there was anything special or hidden.

But you know, I would say there are compartments and places, small little bits inside that sort of haven't been explored yet and haven't been looked at, so, who knows?

The...the answer might still...still be there.

VO: The mystery of U-534 may never be cracked, but she now serves to tell the story of Germany's most feared naval unit and the incredible lengths Britain employed to topple the power of the Nazis.

VO: Now, where are our friends, Chris and Margie?

How did you meet Rufus?

So, Rufus started doing stand-up a few years before me.

And so he was established on the circuit when I started and we did some gigs together.

There were some horrific gigs.

What, you walked off to the sound of your own feet?

CHRIS: We did one gig where we turned up and there was no chairs and there was a casino set up round the side and they said, "Well, we thought everyone could just mingle "and do the casino while you're performing."

And we were like, "No, you need to bring out some seats."

MARGIE: Oh, how depressing.

VO: The nippy Lotus has motored to the city of Liverpool.

The Tunnel Furniture Company has been on the go since 1957.

It's bursting at the seams with antiques and all things quirky.

Sunbathing frog, anyone?

Chris has £280 left to splurge.

Hm, yeah.

I don't really want to put my hand in there.

I might find a liver or something.

VO: I hope not.

Meanwhile, Margie's scouring the gaff to find some sparkling possibles.

Chris is having a good old delve too.

MARGIE: Funnily enough, are you looking at door knobs?

Yes, I think so.

MARGIE: I've got an amazing one here.

It's very heavy.

CHRIS: Oh, my goodness.

MARGIE: It's been on the door... CHRIS: Oh wow!

MARGIE: ..of a shop or a workshop, MARGIE: and it's bronze.

It's... CHRIS: Yeah.

MARGIE: ..got a roll cipher at the top.

So is this like what you would have pushed on a door?

MARGIE: Yeah.

On the door, yeah.

CHRIS: Wow.

MARGIE: And it's got the name Georg Jensen on it, and he is a Danish designer, really highly rated.

VO: This bronze door handle could be a goody.

It's most likely from the showroom of master craftsman Georg Jensen, a prolific silversmith of the early 20th century.

The trouble is, it's expensive, Chris.

VO: She's not kidding.

£275.

It's taken my eye, but...

I'm feeling your enthusiasm, Margie.

MARGIE: Yeah, but enthusiasm doesn't always mean profit.

It might mean I'm sobbing on the day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, well...

I'd be sobbing with disappointment.

How are you going to cope with that?

I...I think I'll manage.

I think I'll... VO: Anything else?

MARGIE: Chris.

This is... CHRIS: Yes.

..a glider pilot's escape axe, so it's a funny shape.

I'll put it there and you can have a feel of it.

MARGIE: The Second World War... CHRIS: Let's have a look.

Oh.

..they set off in their gliders and, of course, if they crashed, that was a way of getting out.

CHRIS: OK. MARGIE: So they're quite rare because I'm afraid a lot of them many didn't get home.

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just interesting, isn't it?

CHRIS: I love this stuff.

MARGIE: Do you?

CHRIS: The stuff with a story.

MARGIE: It's got a story.

Yeah.

That's got a story, you know, that, who did that belong to?

CHRIS: Yeah.

MARGIE: Which brave man?

CHRIS: Yeah.

I like this stuff though.

I like to think that the story... MARGIE: Better than a vase.

CHRIS: Better than a vase, I mean, this could smash a few vases.

You hate vases, don't you?

CHRIS: No, I think this is good.

You like the door handle?

CHRIS: I like the axe.

MARGIE: The axe.

I reckon we try and see if he'll give us a deal on the two.

VO: Talking like a pro, Chris.

Now, the escape axe doesn't have a price and the door handle is 275.

Best find dealer Paul.

Paul, Paul, Paul.

Paul, Paul.

PAUL: Yes, sir... MARGIE: Paul, Paul, Paul.

I like this, mate.

It's a glider pilot's axe.

CHRIS: Yeah, I like it... MARGIE: Escape axe.

Escape axe.

CHRIS: Margie likes the door handle.

I'll put the responsibility for that on her... ..but I like this.

175 quid, the two.

MARGIE: He whispered in my ear one and a half.

160 quid.

CHRIS: I'm not going to haggle with him over 10 quid, Margie... MARGIE: No I'm not.

We're bigger than that, aren't we?

CHRIS: I think so, yeah I mean, if he's petty enough to... to want 10 quid more than 150, we'll let that rest with him, you know?

VO: Thank you for your generosity, Paul.

Four, five, six, seven, eight.

And I believe that they are all 20s.

No, they're only fivers.

VO: You've met your match, Chris!

On that note, we shall wrap up the shopping for today.

Chris now has 120 smackers for tomorrow.

OCHUKO: We've got £20 left.

Ah, yes.

And we've got four items to buy.

The thing is though, how long have you been doing this show now?

Two minutes.

I've got a feeling this could be the last one.

RUFUS: Yeah.

Well, we'd better find something with this 20 quid then, right?

MARGIE: I think that Rufus is competitive, am I right?

He's a comedian, Margie.

MARGIE: Yeah.

And the thing about comedians is we always want to be the best on any show.

MARGIE: Yeah.

If we do really, really well, we want everyone after us not to do as well as us.

And if we have a really bad gig, we want everyone else to struggle as well, so... VO: Nighty night, you lovely bunch!

VO: Good morning, Lancashire!

CHRIS: Isn't it meant to be my turn driving today?

I...get very travel sick, so I have to...

..I have to drive, I hope you don't mind.

It's alright, mate.

VO: Now, where's the Margie and Ochuko mobile?

Right.

New day, Ochuko, so we'll have a quick fiddle on me...

TOGETHER: Wahey!

VO: Oh, they love those lights.

OCHUKO: Rufus is like a child trapped in an adult's body... Yeah, I can imagine.

Yeah.

I've spotted this item, he's like, "Oh, this is nice."

Yeah.

But we can't afford it.

OCHUKO: I'm like, "No..." MARGIE: He's a naughty boy!

"No!"

And he's like, "Yes, yes, yes!"

VO: It's good to be a bit Rufus sometimes.

CHRIS: I'm quite, I'm feeling confident, mate.

I mean, I can't say for sure until I see what you've bought.

Well, if you think you've bought a couple of weird things, have I got... have I got a lot for you!

OK. VO: I can't wait for Chris to find out about it.

Time to 'fess up, fellas.

OK, mate.

OK, well, let's see what you've got.

So my item is just in the boot there.

CHRIS: I'm...I'm excited, mate.

RUFUS: OK. CHRIS: Let's see what you've got.

RUFUS: Have a go on that.

CHRIS: Oh, here we go.

Right.

CHRIS: OK. RUFUS: Yeah.

Oh my goodness.

Right.

So this is the front.

RUFUS: It's a display... CHRIS: Oh, my days.

CHRIS: What have you bought?

RUFUS: I've bought a display... ..of prosthetic hands from the Second World War.

RUFUS: Em... CHRIS: I mean, I don't know what you want me to say.

I...

It might pay off, but I think you might have just blown it already on day one.

VO: Rufus and Ochuko have blasted their budget to kingdom come after spending £380 on the World War II prosthetic hand display... Yeah, I'm joking.

We're totally buying it.

Loads of money!

VO: ..leaving them with a crisp £20 note.

VO: Chris, meanwhile, spent £280 on the arts and crafts letterbox... "Sell me.

"Sell me to Chris."

VO: ..the early 20th century swagger stick, the bronze Georg Jensen door handle and this World War II glider pilot axe.

He has £120 left for today.

Erm, this, though, some sort of, what can only be described as... ..obvious murder weapon.

What are you... What are you thinking here?

Em, that is a World War II glider pilot axe, apparently.

And I just like things with a bit of a story, you know, that have been used for a purpose and with so much, you know, so much drama and personal story.

I mean, who knows what happened to the guy whose axe that was.

VO: Now, I can't wait to see what they get up to today.

VO: After dropping off Chris, Rufus is on a mission for bargains.

He's headed for the Kirkdale area in Liverpool.

Karma Antiques is a veritable feast for the antique hunter.

With new stock arriving every day, there's plenty of options.

With only £20 and one item in the bag, what can Rufus and Ochuko find in here?

Oh, I love this.

What's the name on there?

Haws.

Great, great name.

Good condition, copper.

I'm going to show Rufus this.

OCHUKO: Rufus.

I've seen this.

RUFUS: Ooh.

I bet you're a keen gardener.

RUFUS: Oh, sure!

OCHUKO: Oh, obviously...

I mean, can you get greener fingers?

What I love about this is... ..it's by Haws.

Haws is a great, great English name.

So, John Haws actually invented a watering can.

He was a self-professed terrible gardener... RUFUS: Oh.

..so he thought, "OK, I'm going to invent a watering can."

And it was in...1880, 1882, something like that.

And it's the same thing that they produce to this day.

RUFUS: Ha!

And it's a good... You know, copper.

I like the patina, I like all these greens when it oxidizes.

Yeah.

I think it's a good thing.

Classic, original.

Yeah, and actually still practical.

Still practical.

RUFUS: Yeah, look, I think it's a lovely thing and I can see it's got loads of appeal to all sorts of people, so... OCHUKO: Do you want to go and do some negotiation?

Or should we put a few bits together and see if we can go as a job lot?

That could be a strategy.

That's what I was going to say to you... OCHUKO: Yeah.

..is maybe we're better off getting...like, a mix of things and just trying... .."What do you reckon for that lot..." OCHUKO: And making a bid.

RUFUS: Yep.

VO: Nothing has a ticket price in here.

Sounds like a plan, you two.

VO: Now, let's find Chris and Margie.

We're here as your obedient servants.

CHRIS: Oh, are you?

Yeah.

I'm your obedient servant, Chris.

In which case can you get me a sandwich and a cup of coffee?

Oh, my feet are aching as well, if you could give me feet a rub... A rub!

VO: The gigglers have arrived in Crosby, in Merseyside.

VO: College Antiques is next on their hit list.

With £120 left to spend and four items in the bag, Chris is a man on a mission.

CHRIS: So what's this, Margie?

MARGIE: Yeah, it's quite nice.

They're quite saleable, those.

It's a small display cabinet.

You can feel the curved glass.

Yeah.

And it's got a maker's name in the middle of it.

If you feel it on the inside, the center of the middle... MARGIE: Can you feel it?

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like acid etched in.

CHRIS: Yeah.

MARGIE: And it would be on a counter in a shop.

CHRIS: OK. MARGIE: People use them now... ..for putting their little bits and pieces in.

CHRIS: Yeah.

MARGIE: Or even dealers use them when they go and do fairs... CHRIS: Yeah.

..and it's safe to put little bits of silver in.

CHRIS: Do you know what it's like... ..it's like something you get your sausage rolls from... CHRIS: ..in an old kind of... MARGIE: Oh.

MARGIE: Yeah.

Well... CHRIS: An old cake shop.

MARGIE: ..it's an old display.

CHRIS: Yeah.

MARGIE: 1930s.

Maybe, maybe a bit earlier.

It's quite a nice thing.

CHRIS: It's possibly 100 years old?

VO: What's the price, Margie?

MARGIE: 275, which is way out.

It's not worth that... Yeah, and we've got 120.

MARGIE: Yeah.

CHRIS: 120 and a cheeky grin.

VO: Cheeky being the operative word.

Let's find dealer Angelo.

CHRIS: Angelo!

VO: Oh, not this again!

Angelo!

I'm here.

That's his pitiful cry.

ANGELO: You OK?

CHRIS: I'm good, mate.

We've been looking around this gloriously lovely shop of yours.

And, em, we like the bookcase, mate.

The bookcase, the glass... ANGELO: The display case.

CHRIS: ..display case.

ANGELO: Yeah, it's lovely.

CHRIS: It's 275 though.

Would you take an offer on it?

Well, a close one.

Let me count this out.

20, 40... ..60.

Eh... Oh, are these tenners, are they?

Yeah.

Oh no, they're fivers, them... You know, you've got to get away with it when you can.

Look, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 10, 20.

We've got 120 quid left and we need to buy something.

ANGELO: Why not?

CHRIS: Why not?

ANGELO: Why not?

CHRIS: Absolutely, mate.

Top man.

MARGIE: Thank you, Angelo, very much indeed... You're welcome.

I can empty it for you now.

It won't take a minute.

Oh, it doesn't come with the stuff in it?!

ANGELO: Oh no.

CHRIS: Oh, well, the deal's off!

VO: Another slick deal from Chris.

Thanks, Angelo, for the big discount.

CHRIS: Oh!

Ah!

MARGIE: You alright?

CHRIS: Absolutely!

Right, I'm going to take your arm.

CHRIS: What a deal!

MARGIE: We're going left.

And now we've just got to get it back without breaking it... MARGIE: Exactly.

Don't drop it!

CHRIS: Baby steps.

VO: Meanwhile, back in Kirkdale... RUFUS: Blimey!

French vintage postcard.

Look at that.

Let's have a look.

"You are near and of my thoughts.

"All you need," something, "and gladness of love between us.

Jack, November 3, 1921."

So when you see these postcards, these are like genuine snapshots, aren't they, of, like, actual people's lives?

And it just makes you think, like, what is an Englishman doing in Paris in 1921?

I mean...

There he is, heart on his sleeve, pouring it all out for Miss Mariam McDermott.

I think with postcards, even though sometimes it can just be, "Oh, wish you were here."

Sometimes it is that little, very direct punch into the yearnings of the human soul.

VO: The romantic postcards have quite captured Rufus.

Now, what have you got there, Ochuko?

Rufus, what do you think about this?

I think it's just a wooden box isn't it?

I mean...

It's actually an ambulance box.

So like a first aid box.

Let's have a look inside.

Let's see what we've got in there.

Oh, hang on.

Yeah, there's more there, Rufus.

RUFUS: Yes!

OCHUKO: There's more there!

OCHUKO: What I love about stuff like this, for me, I mean, it spells it out to you.

It's got, "Ambulance...

"..Engineer's Department, Brunswick."

This will have been 19... Let's say, I'd guess at 1940s.

OK. All pine, and it's just the engineering of it.

It's naive, but it's been bespoke.

It's been made specifically for that place where it's going to be held, and it had been used a lot at that time.

It's got age, got history.

You know, and people will use these.

Do you reckon it's a fiver's worth?

Well, we can add this, can't we?

So that's another thing.

That's... We'll put it in our bundle!

We'll put it in our bundle.

Brilliant.

We're getting there.

RUFUS: Yeah.

OCHUKO: Have you seen anything?

Yeah.

Over there, there's a couple of vintage postcards that I got sucked into reading.

Why am I not shocked?

I've been dragged in, We can have a look.

VO: Now, what about the postcards Rufus loves?

RUFUS: I actually went through them earlier, into little piles.

These all seem quite new, I'm not sure how interesting these ones are.

But these seem to tell the story of a man called Jack, who was living in Paris in 1921, writing regularly to a woman called Mariam.

It's a very interesting thing.

Is it particularly saleable?

I know people do collect postcards.

OCHUKO: Definitely.

We've got to not pay a lot.

Right, OK. We've got to not pay a lot, but they're definitely collectable.

And is there any... And they're dated 1921, so we know precisely when they came.

RUFUS: I love those.

Alright, well, we'll put that in the bundle.

VO: OK, so that makes three possibles, including the watering can and the ambulance box.

Nothing has a ticket price and you've only got £20.

Let's find dealer Mark to chat dosh.

MARK: Hello.

RUFUS: Hello.

MARK: How are you?

RUFUS: Really very good.

We've really enjoyed having a look around, haven't we... OCHUKO: Fantastic place.

RUFUS: Really enjoyed it.

RUFUS: Now for the exciting bit where we say we would like to buy some things from you.

And what have you found?

Well, these postcards are great.

OK. Em, that there... MARK: Haws watering can.

OCHUKO: Yeah.

Lovely.

And then there's the ambulance box.

OCHUKO: Yeah, the ambulance box over there.

MARK: OK.

Even though we fully appreciate these items are worth more, is there any chance I can give you £10 for those three things?

£10 is a deal.

OCHUKO: Brilliant!

RUFUS: Oh!

VO: What a result!

Thanks so much, Mark.

That breaks down to £1 for the postcards, £4 for the mid-century watering can and £5 for the bespoke first aid chest.

Well done, Rufus.

VO: Margie and Chris have zoomed over to the Everton area of Liverpool.

As a devout Liverpudlian, Chris is in for a treat.

VO: Tucked away in a busy back street lies Kitty's Launderette, named in honor of the Irish immigrant Kitty Wilkinson, who sparked a revolution in British hygiene.

Chris and Margie are meeting with local historian Mike Kelly.

MARGIE: Here we are.

CHRIS: Lovely to be here, mate.

We are here to learn about Kitty Wilkinson.

Well, you've come to the right place anyway.

Brilliant.

MIKE: Would you like to come in?

MARGIE: We would!

You're right outside the wash house.

CHRIS: OK.

Right.

MIKE: All brought about because of Kitty Wilkinson.

VO: Today, Kitty's Launderette is a worker community cooperative that proudly continues the legacy that Kitty began nearly 200 years ago.

CHRIS: So, Michael, who was Kitty Wilkinson?

MIKE: She was a little Irish girl who came to Liverpool at the age of nine with her parents in a sailing boat.

We're talking about 1794 now.

VO: Liverpool's burgeoning maritime trade as a major seaport meant business was booming and attracted hordes of people looking for work.

MIKE: The trouble was the accommodation was very scarce in Liverpool.

People then started to live in slum areas.

Families living in one room in the basement.

Frontage of a house was 12 plus, the buildings were three-story high, so very little air could penetrate down, very little sunshine.

So they were rife with disease.

VO: This influx of people and terrible living conditions brought about Liverpool's cholera epidemic of 1832.

MIKE: When the cholera came about, Kitty automatically started to do something about it.

Now, the house she lived in had running water and she started to invite people into the house to boil their clothes, to disinfect their clothes.

She was even laying people out after they died as well.

CHRIS: Right.

MIKE: Kitty told the people... ..they must not wash the dead because of the cholera... MARGIE: Mm.

CHRIS: Yeah.

..that they had to be buried as they were.

And, of course, there was a lot of orphans left about as well and Kitty used to take the orphans into her house.

She was an amazing woman.

VO: Acting as an unofficial nurse, Kitty not only helped the needy, she worked out just how to combat this deadly bacterial disease spread by contaminated water.

CHRIS: She made the connection as well, didn't she, between boiling the clothes and killing the... MIKE: The germs.

CHRIS: ..disease?

Yeah.

MIKE: What Kitty realized... ..is that it was the stagnant dirty water that was bringing about the cholera.

Yeah.

And she figured this out herself?

This wasn't something she was told... No, no.

The... CHRIS: ..from a higher level, you know, she... No.

This is what Kitty decided herself.

VO: Kitty discovered the link 20 years before physician John Snow.

And as such, she impressed an influential local councilor.

MIKE: William Rathbone went to the council and he demanded that the council build a permanent wash house MIKE: ..in Liverpool.

CHRIS: Yeah.

MIKE: And Kitty was asked, along with her husband, to be joint superintendents of that wash house.

CHRIS: Mm-hm.

MIKE: And as a result of that, they built over 30 wash houses around Liverpool.

It's been estimated that possibly 2,000 to 3,000 people would have died at that time due to cholera... CHRIS: Yeah.

..only for Kitty's involvement in it.

And if you take that 2,000 people in the early 1800s and bring that forward to now, I mean, that's... CHRIS: You're talking about... MIKE: Oh, colossal numbers.

Tens of thousands of people in Liverpool now that probably wouldn't be here.

VO: This tireless work to save countless lives has been recognized in the city's St George's Hall.

MIKE: Right at the back of me, as you can see, is the statue of Kitty Wilkinson, the first lady to be domiciled in this wonderful place.

They were all men up until Kitty came along and jumped up there.

MARGIE: Yeah.

And everybody came along to see her.

Em, and it's the most wonderful thing to be in this splendid hall.

So, Michael, how high up did the recognition of Kitty Wilkinson go?

MIKE: Right to the royal family.

And she was presented with a silver tea service and an inscription on it from Queen Victoria... to Kitty Wilkinson.

CHRIS: Wow.

MARGIE: How wonderful.

MIKE: You don't go much higher than that.

CHRIS: Just incredible story, Michael.

I mean, it's...She went from Irish immigrant to, you know, savior and friend of the poor, really.

And it's just a lovely story, so thanks very much for sharing it with us, Michael.

I'm not a religious man, but if there is something up there, then I believe that Kitty was sent to us.

CHRIS: Yeah.

Well, well done to her... She was sent to our wonderful city to help us.

Well done to her and well done to you.

Yeah.

VO: Back with the boys in the racy roadster.

OCHUKO: We've got no money.

You know, mo' money, mo' problems, as Puff Daddy... ..and Biggie used to say.

So I think, if anything, we've done ourselves a favor being able to remain fancy free.

Yeah.

VO: Loving your positivity.

We've made it to the heart of Liverpool City.

This looks good.

VO: We're going in here, Liverpool Antique Centre, for a final shopping fling.

There are nearly 40 stallholders housed inside this huge dock road warehouse.

You can even ride a bike in it.

OCHUKO: Hello, sir.

RUFUS: Hi.

OCHUKO: I've had enough.

RUFUS: You off?

OCHUKO: I'm off.

RUFUS: Alright, on your bike.

VO: Guess what?

The fellas have 10 whole pounds to spend in here.

Good luck with that.

What do you make of that?

Well... What's it got on it?

This is Old Grand-Dad.

So, I feel like, at the point I really loved comedy as a teenager, there was The Day Today - Chris Morris and all those kind of things.

OCHUKO: Yes.

But things like, "Doctors have said he had a big face."

Like, it's just really basic phrases like that that really tickle me.

Looking at it there, let's have a look at the bottom.

RUFUS: It's unusual.

You don't see many triangular bottles.

OCHUKO: No, but it doesn't look like it's got a lot of age to it.

I've never heard of that brand... RUFUS: Yeah BOTH: Old Grand-Dad.

RUFUS: Genuinely, just based on that bit of painting on the front, I reckon that could be '40s.

I really do!

You know better than I do, you're the expert.

I...I think '70s.

VO: This bourbon whisky decanter is unpriced.

Could be a good thing, maybe.

OCHUKO: We don't want to pay a lot for it.

Well, just as well, we haven't got a lot!

Yeah, we've not!

I think this - if we can pay a fiver for it... OCHUKO: Yeah.

RUFUS: ..and stick it on an auction, I think there will be somebody in the world who will like that at a fiver.

I mean, it's between that and a Ming vase, isn't it?

On the money we've got, we've got to decide.

We've got to go... We've got no money.

RUFUS: Yeah.

OCHUKO: I'm...I'm at £3.

RUFUS: You're at £3 for it.

OCHUKO: Yeah.

Well, let's offer him three quid and see how we get on.

VO: Right, let's find the main man, Steve.

Hi, Steve.

STEVE: Hi, Rufus.

You alright?

RUFUS: Yeah, good.

Erm... ..we just wanted to know how much would wanted for that bottle, it's Old Grand-Dad.

You can have that for £2.

I feel I'm in a tricky position here because he keeps telling me how to haggle, but at two quid, I just think I should bite your arm off for it.

RUFUS: Well, at two... OCHUKO: You can't.

Can't not.

Right, lovely.

VO: Blimey!

Thanks so much, Steve.

Another belter of a bargain for Rufus and Ochuko.

Well...

I mean, I cannot believe that.

Oh my goodness.

RUFUS: We walked in there with a tenner and we've come out with eight quid.

I think some magic has occurred.

VO: I'll second that!

It's all in the lap of the auction gods now.

OCHUKO: So, have you been to many auctions?

RUFUS: No, never.

OCHUKO: Never, ever ever?

Never been to an auction... Never been to an auction... Wow.

You're in for a treat.

Yeah, I'm quite excited about it.

It'll be good fun.

CHRIS: The thing I love about comedy is, away from the comedy, it opens doors to just weird...weird mad things that you would never have done.

MARGIE: Like this... CHRIS: Like this... Like this!

CHRIS: Going around in a Lotus Esprit, buying antiques with Mrs Antique.

VO: Yeah, I think he means Margie's experience rather than age.

Time for some shut-eye.

VO: Steady yourself, it's auction day in Shropshire.

RUFUS: It's going to go one of two ways, isn't it?

I'm either leaving here punching the air or with my tail between my legs.

Or you could be punching the air with one of your fake hands if no one wants to buy them.

You could be... You could be taking them with you!

Oh, dear me.

VO: Game on, you two.

VO: And for our viewing pleasure, we've rocked up at the 320-acre estate of Astbury Hall.

(CAR HORN) OCHUKO: Hold on, is that them?

VO: Here comes trouble.

MARGIE: Ah!

OCHUKO: Hello, sir.

MARGIE: Hello again!

Well, hello... RUFUS: Long time, no see!

MARGIE: Hi, Chris!

OCHUKO: How have you been?

RUFUS: Who, moi... MARGIE: How are you, my friend?

CHRIS: All good.

CHRIS: The anticipation's killing me... MARGIE: Is it?

OCHUKO: This way?

VO: After a hop, skip and a jump around Liverpool, we're in Chelmarsh, in Shropshire, while the goodies have traveled onwards to West Sussex... ..home to Bellmans.

Today, it's open to bidders in the room, online and commission bids worldwide.

Chris blew the entire budget of £400 on five lots.

Are they exciting auctioneer Will Pasfield?

WILL: So, the World War II RAF glider pilot's escape axe.

Personally, I think it's a wonderful thing.

You hold it in your hand and actually think, "Who else has held this?

What's it done?

Where's it been?"

I think, personally, it's a wonderful item and it just tells a great story.

VO: Rufus, the king of bargains, spent £392 on five lots.

What do you think, Will?

So the prosthetic arm set, I think it's a brilliant thing.

These were actually produced in greater numbers than you might think.

I think it's a very interesting lot.

VO: Me too.

Back to Astbury Hall.

CHRIS: The more you tell me about the things you've bought, the tat for £1 and £2... RUFUS: Yeah?

..it feels like cheating almost.

Well, this was... ..every man for himself, buy things, sell them, dog eat dog and you're up against the Hound, so prepare to get bit!

Prepare to get bit?!

RUFUS: Yeah, you heard.

CHRIS: Is that your catchphrase?

It is now.

VO: Let's get under way!

First up is the collection of 1920s postcards from Rufus.

I'll be honest, you've...you've got to make more than £1.

I don't know that it... Look, the only question we've got to ask ourselves is how much money will these make.

OCHUKO: Here we go.

RUFUS: So let's find out.

£20 to start me for this.

£20 for the postcards and ephemera, £20.

£20.

£20.

OCHUKO: Come on!

Anyone interested at £20?

£20 is bid.

RUFUS: What?!

OCHUKO: Yes!

WILL: And five?

Could be something good in there.

£20.

All done at 20?

VO: Way to go Rufus.

Excellent start!

I'm doing the maths in my head here, is that 2,000% profit?

Yep, that's roughly it, yeah.

VO: Any more for any more?

Chris' early 20th century swagger stick is up for grabs.

So we can expect to see this coming on stage with you now.

Please welcome your next act, curtain goes up, ten-hut!

Here he is.

£20 for this.

£20 for this.

£20 is bid.

Thank you.

CHRIS: Come on.

WILL: At £20.

WILL: I'll take a five now.

Five anywhere?

Five anywhere?

It's £20.

Are we all done?

CHRIS: Oh, no.

MARGIE: £20.

Eh?!

£20.

All done at 20?

VO: What a bargain.

RUFUS: I wouldn't have thought, looking at that swagger stick, it was an instrument.

And yet, it selling for £20 somehow is music to my ears.

VO: You cheeky devil.

Look out, it's Rufus' mid-20th century bourbon whisky decanter.

OCHUKO: Rufus liked it because it said, "Old Grand-Dad."

He was like, "But you're a grandad, you're old and..." Yeah.

That was the main thing that drew him to it.

WILL: There it is.

£20 for the decanter.

CHRIS: Oh no.

WILL: £20 for the decanter.

Come on, guys.

Got to be worth £20.

£20 is bid.

Thank you.

£20 is bid in the room... MARGIE: You are joking.

What is the matter with these people?!

WILL: ..do I see five now anywhere?

Five anywhere?

All done then.

Selling for £25.

VO: Unbelievable!

Brilliant result, Rufus.

RUFUS: There we are... OCHUKO: Wow!

Well done... RUFUS: There we are.

MARGIE: Chris!

Rufus, hats off.

VO: It's Chris' World War II glider pilot's escape axe next.

Ooh!

Would you look at that escape axe!

Oh, I've just been looking for one of those, so I have.

He's taking the mickey out of our items.

He's getting... You wait till his hands come up.

OCHUKO: Oh, no... Nice thing, this.

20, £30 bid.

£30 bid.

WILL: 30, 40... CHRIS: Oh, come on.

WILL: ..45, 50... CHRIS: Yes!

60 we jump to online.

WILL: £70 anywhere?

CHRIS: Come on.

WILL: In a tight spot you need to get out of.

You've gone quiet.

WILL: £60 bid online.

Do I see 70 anywhere else?

£60.

WILL: If we're all done.

CHRIS: Ohh.

..selling at £60.

VO: Your first well deserved profit, Chris.

Why don't you just buy postcards?

The mark-up's much higher.

VO: Indeed.

Rufus' mid-century copper watering can is up next.

You paid four quid, so no doubt it'll make 80 or something.

The way you keep saying that implies nobody explained to you how this game works.

Yes, we paid very little and we're trying to sell it for as much money as possible.

£20 to start me.

£20 for the watering can.

CHRIS: No.

WILL: £20 for the watering can.

20, £25 bid.

30's next.

30's next... OCHUKO: Come on!

WILL: Anyone want a watering can?

It's £25.

30 we got to.

RUFUS: There you go... £30 bid.

Who's got five now?

£35.

Who's got five now...

If you're all done, selling at £30.

VO: Phenomenal with a capital "PH"!

Well done, guys... Well, in future, I'm only going to take £10 out with me.

VO: Rufus is in the lead.

Can Chris nudge ahead with the Scottish arts and crafts letterbox?

It's the boom industry, isn't it?

Physical mail.

CHRIS: Yeah.

Do you want buy it for 200 quid?

Interest in here in.

25.

30, five.

40, five.

50, £55 with me.

Oh, come on... WILL: It's £55 with me.

Do I see 60 now?

60 anywhere?

60 is bid.

Looking for 70 now.

CHRIS: Come on!

WILL: 70 anywhere?

WILL: £60.

If we are all done?

MARGIE: No!

WILL: Selling for 60.

70.

£80 bid.

CHRIS: Ooh!

Come on!

WILL: Looking for 90.

90 anywhere?

Any last minute action?

CHRIS: Yes, please.

WILL: If not, it's £80.

CHRIS: Come on!

Selling for £80.

CHRIS: Agh!

MARGIE: Aw!

OCHUKO: Very unlucky that.

RUFUS: Unlucky.

VO: It very nearly made a profit.

Keep the faith, Chris!

Not a bad idea to buy something very expensive and leave yourself with nowt.

Oh, you say... You say... You say that now!

The whole show, you were going, "What a terrible idea.

"What a terrible idea..." Do you know what, Ochuko?

I asked for you at the start!

I said, "Can you stick us with Ochuko?"

VO: Very funny!

Rufus, your turn with the bespoke first aid box.

RUFUS: What was sad about this in a way, was finding it and then having to put it up for auction, because I think I would have kept it.

OCHUKO: Yeah, it was a nice thing.

It was really sweet.

But, yeah.

I think somebody is going to get something lovely, whatever happens.

£20 to start me for this.

£20 is bid.

Who's got five now?

WILL: Who's got five anywhere for the first aid chest?

25.

Thank you, madam.

Come on.

30 now.

£30 is bid, and five?

35.

40 now.

40 anywhere?

We're getting slaughtered here.

In room then.

At £35, all done?

VO: The bargain basement buys are sure working for Rufus.

You've got to build a bit of profit, so you've got something to wipe off!

Oh, buffer zone, you mean?

VO: Chris' Georg Jensen door handle is next.

CHRIS: She's been saying all along that she thinks there's somebody out there for this and it might make some money, but no doubt she'll change her mind in a minute... Like, "I told you it was a terrible idea!"

We've got lots of interest here.

The commission bids are rolling away.

We jump straight in at 130, 140... CHRIS: Come on!

MARGIE: Hey!

WILL: 160.

£160 bid.

Do I see 170 now?

WILL: 170 anywhere?

OCHUKO: Oh, the relief!

£160 online.

170 now.

If you're all out then.

MARGIE: Chris.

WILL: I'm selling then.

Oh, come on, come on.

All done at 160?

VO: Now you're talking!

Oh, do you know what, when it starts off... Yeah.

Do you forgive me?

..so fast and you're like, "This is going to be thousands!"

Well done, Margie.

VO: Steady.

It's the Rufus big money gamble - the World War II prosthetic hands display.

I'm always going to think this was the right choice.

OCHUKO: I know this.

RUFUS: Mate, when we found that, right from the get-go, we were like, "Shall we?

Yes, let's."

I want you to know I love you.

RUFUS: It's very mutual.

We've lots of commission bids, they're running up straight away.

120, 30, 40.

150, 160, WILL: 170, 180, 190, 200, 220... CHRIS: Oh!

OCHUKO: Go on!

WILL: ..220.

£220.

Live bidder at £220.

The commission is now out... Oh, sell!

Sell!

No, commission's out.

Do I see 240 anywhere?

Fair warning, selling for £220.

VO: Well, shame it didn't quite pay off.

Moving on.

CHRIS: Yes!

MARGIE: Wahey!

I'm so sorry!

Oh, I mean... RUFUS: It was a glorious dream, wasn't it?

OCHUKO: It really was.

VO: It's the final lot - Chris' early 20th-century countertop display.

CHRIS: I'd hate someone to get this at a steal.

BOTH: Yeah.

OCHUKO: Quality item.

Lovely.

And the glass is still in one piece.

And I've carried it as well, that's a miracle.

WILL: And we've got lots of commission bids here and I'm going to jump straight in at 50, 60, 70.

WILL: £70 bid on the commission.

CHRIS: Come on.

WILL: £70 on the commission.

Do I see 80 now?

80.

80 we jump to.

Take 90 now.

90 is bid now.

There's a live bidder online at 90.

£100 if you want it, I don't think they do.

It stays online at £90.

All done at 90?

VO: Well, at least we had a laugh.

You've got to hand it to us.

Very good.

Very good...

The first one of the day.

Yeah, yeah... VO: Rufus and Ochuko commenced with £400.

After all auction costs, they have made a loss of £125 and 50 pennies, leaving them with a final sum of £274 and 50p.

VO: Chris and Margie also began with £400, and made a smaller loss of £59 and 70p.

They have ended with £340 and 30 pennies, making them today's victors!

CHRIS: So, Rufus.

RUFUS: Yeah.

Have you had fun, mate?

I think I'd have more fun if I'd have won.

But, at the end of the day, wasn't the real winner just the joy of antiques hunting?

If anything, this whole experience has made me appreciate Ikea more.

VO: Cheerio, fellas.

It's been emotional.

subtitling@stv.tv