(upbeat music) (audience applauds) - Good evening.

Welcome to, "Would I Lie To You," the show with unvarnished truths and highly polished lies.

on Lee Mack's team tonight, a comedian who released a book called, "Sex, Power and Money," which coincidentally, are also her nicknames for me, David, and Lee.

It's Sara Pascoe.

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) And a fitness instructor who knows all about feeling the burn.

Those spandex leotards must really chafe.

(audience laughs) It's Mr.

Motivator.

(audience applauds) And on David Mitchell's team tonight, an award-winning broadcaster who's covered the Olympics, Wimbledon, Ascot and the World Cup.

David, those are all sporting events.

(audience laughs) It's Dan Walker.

- Thank you.

(audience applauds) - And an actor who quit her job as an opticians for the West End because she wanted to see her name up in lights in gradually smaller and smaller letters.

It's Nicola Coughlan.

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) We begin with round one, Whole Truths, where our panelists read out a statement from the card in front of them.

Now to make things harder, they've never seen the card before.

They have no idea what they'll be faced with.

It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.

Sara is first up tonight.

- As a child, I once secretly cashed my mom's family allowance and used the money to buy a cat.

(audience laughs) - [ROB] David's team.

- So how did you perpetrate this fraud?

- Lot of strong allegations straight away.

(audience laughs) It's not a fraud, - Is it not a fraud?

- I didn't say I was my mom.

- Right.

- My mom, single mother at work, so quite often couldn't get to the post office during opening hours.

So my job was to get the family allowance, I'm the eldest.

- Right.

- And how old were you?

- 11.

- I see, so you were permitted to collect the money.

- [SARA] I was permitted, yes yes.

- What you weren't then authorized to do by your mother is to spend it on a cat?

- Not explicitly.

(audience laughs) - So it's not fraud, it's theft.

(audience laughs) So what happened then, Sara, talk us through it.

- So I went to the post office, got the family allowance.

And quite near the post office, there was lots of different shops, a high street, if you will.

Oddly on the way to go to the post office, I had popped into the pet shop and they were two little kittens.

And they were kind of all snuggled and sleepy and very sweet, very sweet.

So I went to the post office, got the money, it was about 30 pounds.

And then on the way back, one of the cats had been sold and the other one was there, very lonely.

- Oh.

Is this the story you told your mum or is this the truth?

(audience laughs) - Well, this is, we don't find that out 'til the end of the round.

(audience laughs) - I'm getting old, I keep forgetting the format.

(audience laughs) - He was meowing, he was sad.

And I realized that I now was holding enough money to buy him, and so I did.

- How did you tell your mom?

- I told my mom that I'd gone to the post office as instructed, picked up the family allowance.

But then when I had been walking home, it'd been very windy, the money had flown away.

(audience laughs) When I was looking for the money in the grass, I found this kitten.

(audience laughs) - Did she fall for that?

- No.

- Oh.

(audience laughs) I was gonna say if she did, can we get her on that too?

(audience laughs) - So what happened?

Were you allowed to keep the cat?

- Well, for a very, very short amount of time, the cat was in our house, but my mom was looking for somewhere else to basically to give him away to a home where he would be properly cared for.

And then she told me that he had blown away.

(audience laughs) - Oh.

You were only 11, and she went, oh, where's the cat?

He blew away.

(audience laughs) - 11 is not too young to learn the bitter lesson of how miserable life is.

(audience laughs) - Can I just say, this has completely ruined my card in a minute where I will be reading out that I, in the 1990s, bought a cat off a woman in a pub for 15 quid.

(audience laughs) - Alight, what are you thinking, Nicola?

Does this story strike you as true?

- I think there's a lot of detail in it.

- A lot of detail, yes.

- Can picture the high street, the pet shop, the post office.

- Yes, you've got a wonderful imagination.

(audience laughs) You're very gifted in that way, aren't you?

(audience laughs) - Well, I mean, we are talking about cats here.

- Yeah, there are no cats.

- No, and yet we vaguely know what we're banging on about.

(audience laughs) - You brought cats to life as vividly as Andrew Lloyd Weber did all those years ago.

(audience laughs) - I never saw the live show.

I just saw the, the clip from the film.

- I auditioned for that film and didn't get it.

(audience laughs) And you know who played the part I went up for?

- who?

- Judi Dench.

- How dare you!

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) Ray Winstone, Ray Winstone.

- What a part.

(audience laughs) - Dan, what are you thinking?

- I feel like I want to believe Sara on this one.

I feel there's an element of truth there.

- Well, I think the situation is, we just completely believe this.

Now, if it's a lie, there's something diabolical that Sara has done because we've just totally accepted it.

(audience laughs) - Alright.

And can I just say I'm enjoying the length of your shirt sleeves tonight.

(audience laughs) - Oh, they're getting longer and longer, aren't they?

- You look like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.

(audience laughs) Sara, they're saying it's true.

Was it true or were you telling a lie?

Checkmate!

- Oh!

(audience applauds) - Yes, it's true.

Sara really did use her mom's family allowance to buy a cat.

Dan, you are up next.

- Possession.

- Ah, there'll be a box at the side of your desk.

Take the item out of the box, put it on the desk.

And once you've done that, read the card if you would.

- This is my sports bag.

And halfway through signing it, I told Pele to put his pen down because I thought he was ruining it.

(audience laughs) - [ROB] Lee's team.

- Well that's very interesting.

Is that a Brazil bag?

It's actually a, it's a New York Cosmos bag.

- Oh, of course.

So when did you meet Pele?

- Well, Pele was the face of New York Cosmos.

They paid him a lot of money to sort of front the rebranding of New York Cosmos and- - Also the face of impotence.

- Yes, yes, yes.

- It is.

- That's true.

(audience laughs) - Pele was put up for an interview.

- What year was that?

- What year?

- Probably about 2011.

- So you already had that bag?

- No, this was the bag that they gave you as like a goodie bag When you went to the press conference.

- Was there stuff inside it?

- There was some pencils and- - There were, there were some pencils.

- There were some pencils.

- What did he say?

- He said there was some pencils.

- I meant to say there was a pencil.

There were.

- Were there any pencils or not?

- There were pencils in there.

- All right, see there was pencils.

- Nah no, now you.

(audience laughs) - There were some pencils in there and a flannel.

- No, there were a flannel.

(audience laughs) - A flannel.

May we have a look at the bag?

- I'm told it's been sanitized.

Let me- - [LEE] Yeah, but he's touched it now.

- I've only touched the back handle.

You can have- - I'm gonna put my arm through it like this.

(audience laughs) - Now I see you're a lot more handsome.

(audience laughs) - Okay, that's interesting.

- If you look there, right, that says P-E.

- Well it's a sports bag.

- Exactly.

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) Which is amazing because the reason I didn't want him to sign it was because I wanted to use it in the gym.

And now that's my gym bag with P-E written on it, you see?

- I mean, I understand the concept of not wanting a signature if you think the bag's better, but if he started it, is it not better to finish it than have just PE?

- Right, so I'd taken a Brazil shirt with me.

- For him to sign?

- Yeah, so I gave it to the great man and he signed the shirt, full signature on the shirt.

And I think it was like an, "All the best, Dan, Pele."

Okay?

- I didn't know his first name was Dan.

(audience laughs) I took the shirt, I turned and put it on my normal bag that I brought with me.

And then when I turned back, the great man had my bag that he picked up.

And without thinking, I said, "Not the bag, Pele," and- - What an idiot Pele is.

(audience laughs) Put the pen down, Pele, you maniac.

(audience laughs) - What must Pele have thought of you?

Because this bag was given to you for free.

- He sort of stared at me angrily.

And then he said, "No one's ever asked me not "to sign anything before."

(audience laughs) - Did he have a translator?

- No, he spoke perfect English.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- He does speak English.

- Does he?

- Yeah.

- Are you impotent.

(audience laughs) That's pretty good English if you know the word impotent.

(audience laughs) So Dan, so at this point they're looking at you as if, and he said, "No one has asked me not "to sign something before."

What happens then?

- I think we can see why he signed the impotence contract.

Someone just put it in front of him.

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Dan, I don't understand why you didn't want Pele to sign a bag, why?

- Because I really liked the bag.

- But imagine having a bag signed by Pele waiting until, God forbid one day he passes on to a better place, and selling it on eBay.

(audience laughs) - So do you have a lot of signed memorabilia?

By people and you are waiting for them to die?

- Well, all that stuff I've got you to sign.

(audience laughs) All those "Peep Show" DVDs, I'm not watching them, that's for sure.

(audience laughs) So what are you thinking?

Sara, do you think this could be true?

- No, I don't think anyone would stop Pele signing their bag.

I think it's a lie.

- Mr.

Motivator, NBA?

- A lie.

- Okay, we're saying it's a lie.

- It's unanimous, they think it's a lie.

Dan?

- Yes.

- It's a great story.

Was it true or was it a lie?

- I can tell you that the story is true.

- No!

(audience applauds) - Yes, it's true, Dan really did stop Pele from signing his bag.

(audience laughs) Right, Mr.

Motivator, you are next.

- Every day, I do one press up for each year I've been alive.

- Okay, David's team.

- Wow.

- How many years have you been alive?

- That's what he says at speed dating.

(audience laughs) How long have you been alive?

- Well, let's, I'll tell you what.

(audience laughs) Before you say- - Won't be for much longer.

(audience laughs) Mr.

Motivator, let's just see how old we think.

- It's hard to tell because he has the face of a 50-year-old and the clothes of a 14-year-old.

(audience laughs) - [ROB] What are you gonna say?

- I'm gonna add them together, no, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say late fifties, 58.

- [ROB] Okay.

Mr.

Motivator?

- 67, 68 next month.

- Wow.

- Wow.

(audience applauds) - You said you're 67, and you claim to do 67 press up every day?

- Yeah.

- Mr.

Motivator, obviously doing 67 would be inhumane.

Maybe do one or two, just so we can witness the technique.

- Well, I mean, if some of you guys were doing it.

- I'm just gonna say at this point, there are no circumstances under which I will do a press up.

(audience laughs) - David, what if it was a different exercise?

Would you do like a jumping jack or a burpee?

- What's a burpee?

(audience laughs) - It's where Victoria puts you over her shoulder and pats your back.

(audience laughs) - I'm happy to do one with you, Mote.

- Okay, now remember I have a shoulder which has been in.

- You've got a shoulder problem?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, me too.

- Well, I'll do a few.

- Yeah, okay.

(audience applauds) I'll go here.

So I'm gotta do what you are doing, okay?

- Yeah, you gotta do what I'm doing.

- [DAVID] That's not a press up.

- We are warming up, you idiot.

- Oh, let's do it.

- If you know nothing about the body.

- [MR.

MOTIVATOR] Let's do it on the edge.

- On the edge like these, all right.

- Here we go, let's go, go.

Push it, come on, guy.

- I'm doing it.

- Come on, let's go.

(audience applauds) - I thought we weren't gonna do 67.

(audience cheers) - Rob's doing really good.

- I'm out.

- Rob, you were amazing.

(audience applauds) - I think it's fair to say, Rob, that you surpassed everybody's expectations.

(audience laughs) - [NICOLA] I was impressed.

I took what?

- I'll be fine in a minute.

(audience laughs) It was like something out of a Rocky, wasn't it?

- It was impressive, that.

- It was great.

- Thank you very much.

- It was good.

It was kind of nice.

- So Dan, what do you think, truth or lie?

- I was tempted to say lie.

Then I saw the ease with which he did that and I'm thinking true.

- What do you think?

- I'm leaning towards a lie.

I'll let you have the the deciding vote.

- I've got the deciding vote anyway.

(audience laughs) - I'm gonna go true.

- They're saying it's true.

Mr.

Motivator, was it true?

- True.

- Oh!

(audience applauds) - Our next round is called, "This Is Mine," where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection to one of our panelists.

Now this week, each of David's team will claim it's them that as the genuine connection to the guest.

It's up to Lee's team to spot who's telling the truth.

So please welcome this week's special guest, Graham.

(upbeat music) (audience applauds) So Nicola, what is Graham to you?

- So this is Graham and I once got him to jump out of a cupboard to scare away my hiccups.

(audience laughs) - Right, Nicola's hiccup hero.

Dan, how do you know Graham?

- This is Graham, and he's the secretary of my highly exclusive club.

And the name of the club, Egg Club.

(audience laughs) - Right, Dan's club cohort.

And David, finally you, what is your relationship with Graham?

- This is Graham, he comforted me when while visiting a model village, I suddenly became overwhelmed by my own enormousness.

(audience laughs) - So there we have it, Lee's team, where are you gonna start?

- Nicola, tell me what happened.

- I had a really, really bad case of the hiccups on set in "Derry Girls," and it was ruining the day.

- Could I just hear the sound of your hiccup please?

- It would be a fake hiccup, but you can.

- But yes, I'd like to hear it.

- Okay.

(laughs) Just like had that moment where I was like, Mr.

Motivator's asking me to do a fake hiccup, like what is my life?

This is.

(audience laughs) Okay.

(hiccups) (audience laughs) - Goodness.

- I don't know, did that help?

- That sounded like chihuahua from a distance.

(audience laughs) - Chihuahua from a distance, that's that's a scent isn't it?

That's- (audience laughs) - Graham seems to be quite a normal looking man.

And so what was so scary about him coming out of a cupboard?

- No- - Are you easily scared?

- No, no, no, no, so we were in this old school building and he is the second AD.

He was like, "I will hide somewhere here."

He was like, "I'm gonna get-" - He told you?

- He told you that?

- Yeah, like I knew it was gonna happen.

- And the anticipation wasn't enough, you needed the shock?

- It was literally the only thing.

- What other techniques did you try before you did that?

- Tried to do that water upside down thing.

But that's the whole crack of rubbish.

- Did you hold your breath and put your fingers in your ears?

- Yeah.

- What's the point of the fingers in the ears?

- Because it stops air getting in your ears.

- Stop you breathing out through your ears.

(audience laughs) It's air getting in there to make your hiccup again.

- [LEE] Is that what causes it, air going in the ears?

- Just any air through any orifice.

- What else do you have to put your finger in there?

- You don't, you only have two fingers.

(audience laughs) - No you don't, you have seven.

(audience laughs) Did you really just say on national television, you've got two fingers?

- Shut up, no one noticed, Lee.

No one noticed that I didn't know how many I had.

(audience laughs) Nicola, did you know Graham's name beforehand?

Do you know all of the crew's name when you're filming?

- You definitely know the second 'cause they're the ones that whenever you need to go to the bathroom, you have to ask them.

Like you're in primary school.

- You have to ask them to go to the toilet?

- We do, and then they- - You really method be playing this child, aren't you?

(audience laughs) - But if you have to go to the bathroom, they have to know where the actors are at all times, so there's a special code on a radio for when an actor's in the bathroom.

- What's that?

- What's the code?

- Ten one.

- It's ten one?

- I have no idea what it stands for.

- Ten one, unless you need the other one, then it's ten two.

(audience laughs) - So he he jumps out of the cupboard.

What happens?

- I knew it was happening, so I sort of laughed and then realized then that they were gone.

- Oh - Well, right.

Who would you like to question next?

- Dan?

- Yes.

- Just remind us of your statement, Dan.

- This is Graham, and Graham is the secretary of a highly exclusive club that I've got.

And that club is called Egg Club.

- Okay, how many people are in this exclusive club?

You'd have to check with the secretary, Graham.

- He can't tell us this.

- I think 15, 16.

- And when you say exclusive, have people tried to join and they've been turned away?

- Yeah, in Egg Club, we have a very specific poaching method.

It's one of those things that started as a bit of a joke.

I put some pictures of of some poached eggs on social media, and then lots of people started sending pictures of their poached eggs back to me.

So I said, "You are banned from Egg Club "for not doing it right."

- And how many people do you think you've banned over the years or months this has been going?

- Maybe a hundred.

(audience laughs) In Egg Club, we like a basic egg.

So no sort of frills, no salmon or, (audience laughs) what's that green stuff?

I've forgotten what the green stuff is.

- Well the green stuff.

- Spinach?

- Spinach.

- Oh avocado.

- Avocado, avocado.

- Somebody's banned from avocado club.

(audience laughs) Graham sent me a picture of his eggs with no avocado, no salmon, just plain toast, butter, eggs, and I said, "You're in, Graham."

And then I send him a direct message and said, "Welcome to Egg Club."

- And what does he say in reply to that?

He says, "Oh fantastic."

- Really?

- Probably about a year into Egg Club, people start getting really angry that you banned from.

So I hosteded an event about a year ago and somebody came up to me with a plate with two poached eggs on it.

And they said, "You banned me from Egg Club six months ago.

(audience laughs) "Can you check these to see if they're okay?"

And I said, "What, when did you cook them?"

And he said, "I cooked them yesterday."

I said, "Well you're clearly banned for another year."

So.

(audience laughs) - Now on social media, 'cause you, you get a lot of celebrities, famous people.

Have any of them had dalliances with your seemingly futile club?

(audience laughs) - Gordon Ramsey's banned.

- No, no.

(audience laughs) - Did he send an egg or did you just see him make an egg?

- He made an egg and somebody commented on his egg and said, "Oh you're not gonna get into Egg Club with that."

And he said, I think it was, "What the mm is Egg Club?"

And I said, "Foul language, banned for life."

So.

(audience laughs) - Last question?

- Yeah.

- They quite lonely?

(audience laughs) - No, I've got three kids and two jobs.

But you can- - But still time for Egg Club?

(audience laughs) - What about David?

Just remind us of your claim, David.

- This is Graham and he comforted me when, while going round a model village, I became overwhelmed by my own enormousness.

(audience laughs) - Okay, where was this model village?

- It was in the Cotswolds.

- Did you go on your own?

- I did, yeah.

- Is there a castle there?

- No, if there'd been a castle, I wouldn't have gone to the model village.

(audience laughs) Because there'd be a castle.

(audience laughs) - So this is interesting.

So you think castles are better than model villages?

- Oh he loves castles.

- Yeah!

- But not as much as him.

That's why they call him Mr.

Mote.

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Why on earth did you go to a model village on your own?

- I didn't have anything to do.

- Was this recently?

It was couple of years ago.

I was working in the Stroud area.

- Is that a euphemism?

(audience laughs) - Well, no, no.

Come on, look, you've got the moat thing.

You're fine for a couple of years on that.

(audience laughs) So I was filming something around there.

I had basically a day off.

So I thought I'd go and sort of go somewhere nice.

- And where were you when you cried?

What particular part of the model village made you weep?

- I think I had just passed the church.

- Oh, that must have been a hell of a meal.

(audience laughs) - Yeah, absolutely, and you know, with all those crenelations.

(audience laughs) - You sort it out yet?

(audience laughs) - Anyway, just became, I mean, overwhelmed is the word.

I couldn't bear the size of me and the smallness of the place.

And I was tired, I was working very hard.

'Cause you know, as an actor, - Zen, the sir.

- No one gives more than me.

- Yes.

(audience laughs) - And so I'm quite drained.

Anyway, it was probably too ambitious to go to a model village that day.

I should have just been resting.

- When you talk about your acting, and the extent to which you give, I don't think the viewer will realize the amount of research you do.

- Yes.

- And for you to play a sort of repressed upper middle class Englishman, middle aged, (audience laughs) takes, I mean months and months.

- It's a huge stretch.

I mean, it's a privilege.

- I bet it was when you passed that church.

(audience laughs) It's so difficult to deal on the one side, I've got Rob making assault on my whole career.

On the other side, you are persistently implying that I have crapped out an entire medieval building.

(audience laughs) I just don't know, I mean I feel like Germany in the first World War, fighting on two fronts.

(audience laughs) I'm going to turn fascistic in a few decades.

That's what I'm saying.

(audience laughs) - So what did Graham do exactly?

- Well, he comforted me.

- How?

- Well I had been overwhelmed and I'd got to the point where I had to just lower myself to at least get my head down to the level of the rooftops because I was freaking out, the sort of sense of unearned power the ability to smash and destroy, it felt like a bitter metaphor of humanity's predation on the earth.

(audience laughs) And I was just really.

- Are you saying all this out loud at the time, are you?

- No, I'm not saying anything out loud, but I am sort of crouching down next to, I think a miniaturized shop with a Bowlerland advert on the outside.

(audience laughs) Nice bit of detail.

- Thank you.

And Graham comes over and asks if I'm okay.

- And what did you say?

- Did Graham work there or was he just another person enjoying the sites?

- He worked there.

And he says, they get a lot of this.

- Oh really?

(audience laughs) Right, we need an answer.

So Lee's team, is Graham Nicola's hiccup hero, Dan's club cohort, or David's model mate.

- Well David is full of hogwash.

- Do you think?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I don't know, you come onto a program and you share something difficult and painful and then this is how you're treated.

(audience laughs) Is this what would happen to me on Graham Norton?

(audience laughs) I don't think so.

I think they'd mention the book and thank me for coming.

(audience laughs) (audience applauds) - And Dan, as for your eggs, no, no way, Dan.

The only thing that's remotely probably true is that Nicola.

Because I look at Graham and he looks like the kind of person who would hide in a cupboard.

(audience laughs) - I think it's Egg Club.

It's made me so furious, I think it's true.

- You think it's Nicola, you think it's David, I- - Okay, I think Nicola then as well.

- [LEE] Okay, Nicola.

- We think that it is Nicola with her hiccups, right.

Graham, would you please reveal your true identity?

- I'm Graham and I'm the secretary of Dan's Egg Club.

- Oh gosh.

(audience applauds) - Yes, and we can see one of the submissions to Egg Club now, here it is.

This is a picture that Dan was sent.

That's what happens, they send it in, they say, "Morning Dan, surely worthy of Egg Club entry.

"Where do I pick up the keys?"

And then Dan fires back with that, "Unsanctioned rosti, lack of cutlery, overconfidence, "banned from Egg Club applications for 117 days."

(audience laughs) Thank you very much for playing.

Which brings us to our final round, Quickfire Lies.

And we start with, it's Lee.

- Last year on a silent retreat, I got into a row with the rest of the group because of the snap, crackle and pop coming from my bowl of Rice Krispies.

(audience laughs) - [ROB] David's Team.

- Okay, what was this silent retreat that you were on and why were you on it?

- I was on it because I'm quite into meditating and I wanted to do more activities, rather than doing meditating at home.

- I'm interested that the food at the retreat would be Rice Krispies.

(audience laughs) - It wasn't, I actually brought my own Rice Krispies.

- So where was it held?

- It was in Scotland.

I went with my friend Neil and it was in Inverness.

- What's the place usually used for when there isn't a silent retreat there, is it?

- Oh, it's a perfect place for a silent retreat.

- It's always, it's like next week and another silent retreat, it's like- - Yeah, you know that when you go to Disneyland and you go, what's happening next week?

And they go, "Next week, it's still Disneyland."

(audience laughs) A week after, Disney.

All right, next year?

Nope, Disneyland.

(audience laughs) - So there's a silent retreat in Inverness.

I've never heard about it.

How on Earth- - You wouldn't, would you?

(audience laughs) - How do you tell somebody at a silent retreat that you're angry that their food is making a noise?

- [SARA] Good question.

- Oh, just by giving them a look.

- By giving them a look.

- Tell you what, you start with your Rice Krispies, right?

I'll be another gullible idiot who's handed over money to stay at this place.

(audience laughs) What are you doing now?

I'm shaking the Rice Krispies into the bowl.

I'm sorry, are you in character?

- Yes.

- Oh, in that case, ask me again.

- [ROB] What, well, I can't ask you if I'm- - Shh.

- Well I'm not the one who's, you're the one who's making the noise.

- Shh.

- [DAVID] (laughs) Oh gosh.

(audience laughs) (audience laughs) (audience laughs) (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - So that was the tension.

- And what were they eating for their breakfast that was so quiet?

- Well that was the annoying thing because they were eating pappadams.

(audience laughs) - So what are you thinking, Nicola?

- I think this is true.

I've known another comedian before that's been in the silent retreat.

I have a vi- - Who was the other comedian?

- Tommy Tiernan, who's in Derry Girls.

- I know Tommy, yeah, he was with me.

(audience laughs) - Dan, what about you?

- Feels like absolute garbage to me.

- Okay, what's it gonna be?

- True!

- You're saying it's true?

- Yeah, I'm saying it's true, yeah.

I mean's that's gotta be one of the two options you were expecting.

(audience laughs) We're saying true.

- Good.

- I'm saying it's definitely true.

- Good, Lee.

(audience laughs) - Can I just say, David?

I think you would suit a meditation retreat.

(audience laughs) - [ROB] So Lee, is it true or is it a lie?

- Of course it's a lie, ya pillow.

(audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) - That noise signal is time is up, it's the end of the show.

And I can reveal that David's team have won by four points to one.

- Whoa.

(audience applauds) - Thanks for watching, we'll see you next time, goodnight.

(upbeat music) (audience applauds)