MARTIN: MY PARENTS WOULD LEAVE ME IN CORNWALL WITH MY AUNT JOAN FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER.

UH, SO, YES, OF COURSE, PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT IS RELATED TO A CHILD’S ENVIRONMENT, I THINK.

RACHEL: ARE YOU FEELING COMFORTABLE, LOUISA?

LOUISA: HM.

YEAH.

WHY?

RACHEL: YOU DON’T LOOK ESPECIALLY RELAXED.

LOUISA: I’M FEELING A LITTLE SQUASHED.

CAN YOU MOVE OVER A BIT?

RACHEL: DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU KEEP A DISTANCE FROM EACH OTHER?

MARTIN: UM, WE’RE CURRENTLY LIVING APART.

RACHEL: YES, AND THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS REFERRING TO.

ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU MAINTAIN A SEPARATENESS EVEN WHEN YOU’RE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER?

FREQUENTLY COUPLES WILL HOLD HANDS OR MAKE UNCONSCIOUS GESTURES OF AFFECTION.

LOUISA: ARE YOU SAYING WE DON’T ACT LIKE A COUPLE?

HAVE YOU EVER ACTUALLY BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?

RACHEL: THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME.

LOUISA: HM.

RACHEL: LOOKING AT YOU NOW, YOU SEEM QUITE SELF-CONTAINED.

DO YOU ENJOY SHARING PHYSICAL CONTACT?

LOUISA: WE DO HAVE A CHILD, YOU KNOW.

RACHEL: IF THERE IS TO BE THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP, ONE MUST BE ABLE TO EXPRESS ONE’S APPRECIATION OF ONE’S PARTNER.

MARTIN: I APPRECIATE LOUISA.

RACHEL: DO YOU FIND MARTIN TO BE APPRECIATIVE?

LOUISA: TO ME, HE’S USUALLY QUITE NICE.

TO OTHER PEOPLE, NOT SO MUCH.

RACHEL: ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT HE’S RUDE?

LOUISA: HE CAN BE, YEAH.

RACHEL: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY MORE ABOUT THAT?

LOUISA: UM...HE HAS NO SOCIAL SKILLS WHATSOEVER.

HE DOESN’T SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY, OR AT ALL.

HE MAKES NO ATTEMPT TO DISGUISE HIS CONTEMPT FOR ANYONE HE CONSIDERS LESS INTELLIGENT THAN HIMSELF, AND CONSIDERS EVERYONE TO BE LESS INTELLIGENT-- RACHEL: I UNDERSTAND.

MARTIN, IS LOUISA BEING UNFAIR?

MARTIN: NO, NOT REALLY.

RACHEL: LOUISA, 3 POSITIVES ABOUT MARTIN.

LOUISA: WHAT?

RACHEL: QUICKLY.

LOUISA: UM, UH, HE’S A VERY GOOD DOCTOR, HE ALWAYS LOOKS VERY SMART, AND HE KEEPS THE HOUSE VERY TIDY.

RACHEL: GREAT.

MARTIN, ARE YOU ABLE TO THINK OF 3 POSITIVES ABOUT LOUISA?

MARTIN: YES.

RACHEL: CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE?

MARTIN: SHE’S A GOOD AND CARING MOTHER, SHE’S PHYSICALLY ACTIVE, AND SHE’S VERY BEAUTIFUL.

RACHEL: EACH PERSON HAS TO FEEL THAT THEIR NEEDS ARE BEING MET, AND PHYSICAL CONTACT IS AN IMPORTANT ASPECT OF THAT.

LOUISA: SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

RACHEL: I’D LIKE TO SET YOU SOME HOMEWORK.

LOUISA: FINE.

RACHEL: I WANT YOU TO EMBRACE 3 TIMES A DAY AND MAKE A POSITIVE STATEMENT TO EACH OTHER.

YOU OK WITH THAT?

MARTIN: YES.

LOUISA: SURE.

RACHEL: GREAT.

MARTIN: JAMES IS BATHED AND SUDOCREMED.

SHALL I PUT HIM TO BED, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LEAVE NOW?

LOUISA: NO, WHY NOT LET HIM PLAY FOR A WHILE?

MIGHT TIRE HIM OUT.

MARTIN: YES.

IF YOU’D LIKE ME TO, UM, BATHE HIM ON A REGULAR BASIS, I’M SURE I CAN FIND THE TIME.

LOUISA: YEAH.

THANK YOU.

HE’LL ENJOY THAT.

WON’T YOU, JAMES?

RIGHT.

MARTIN: WHAT?

LOUISA: SHOULD WE, UM... MARTIN: WHAT?

LOUISA: OUR HOMEWORK.

MARTIN: YES.

LOUISA: COME ON.

IT COULD BE FUN.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

LOUISA: SO I’LL GET US STARTED.

UM, HAVE YOU GOT SOMETHING POSITIVE IN MIND?

MARTIN: YES.

I’M GLAD THAT YOU CAME BACK.

LOUISA: THANK YOU, MARTIN.

SEE, THAT WASN’T SO BAD, NOW, WAS IT?

MARTIN: NO.

LOUISA: SO, UM, WHY--WHY DON’T WE--WHY DON’T WE TRY IT AGAIN?

MARTIN: YES, THAT STEP WAS A LITTLE AWKWARD.

LOUISA: YEAH, I MEAN, I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.

MARTIN: OK. LOUISA: OK, MARTIN.

MARTIN: UM, I’M HAVING DIFFICULTY LETTING GO.

LOUISA: I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

MMM.

THIS IS NICE.

MARTIN: I ACTUALLY CAN’T LET GO.

MY WATCH HAS SNAGGED ON YOUR CARDIGAN.

THERE, THAT’S GOT IT.

YES.

IT’S JUST THE HEM.

IT’S FINE.

I HAVE A LETTER OF REFERRAL TO--TO WRITE, SO I’LL SAY GOOD NIGHT.

LOUISA: OF COURSE.

MARTIN: GOOD NIGHT, JAMES.

LOUISA: NIGHT.

MRS. TISHELL: OH!

DOCTOR!

DOCTOR!

DID YOU ENJOY YOUR FISH STEW?

IT WAS NO TROUBLE.

I JUST HAPPENED TO BE PASSING... OH.

[BERT SNORING] [KNOCKING ON DOOR] PENHALE: MR. LARGE?

BERT?

IT’S TIME TO MOVE THIS EYESORE.

THERE’S BEEN COMPLAINTS, BERT.

THIS IS A BEAUTY SPOT, AND YOUR VAN DOESN’T EXACTLY IMPROVE THE VIEW.

BERT: THAT IS DISCRIMINATION.

PENHALE: THE LAW IS THE LAW.

YOU NEED TO MOVE ON.

WHERE WILL YOU GO?

BERT: DON’T YOU WORRY YOURSELF ABOUT THAT, JOE.

I’M ALREADY SORTED.

BUT FIRST, I’M GOING TO HAVE A CUP OF TEA.

PETER: GOOD MORNING, MISS GLASSON.

I MEAN, UH, MRS. ELLINGHAM.

SORRY.

WHICH ONE IS IT?

LOUISA: PETER CRONK.

MY GOODNESS, YOU’VE GROWN.

PETER: OF COURSE I HAVE.

I’M CURRENTLY UNDERGOING ADOLESCENCE.

I EXPECT TO GROW AT LEAST 30 CENTIMETERS IN THE NEXT 4 YEARS.

MY MUSCLE WEIGHT WILL INCREASE BY 6 OR 7 KILOGRAMS.

LOUISA: OK. PETER: AND MY VOICE HAS DROPPED AN OCTAVE IN THE PAST YEAR.

LOUISA: SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, PETER?

PETER: UH, THERE’S SOMETHING I’D LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.

DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

LOUISA: UM, OK, YEAH, I’VE GOT 5 MINUTES.

PETER: I’M OFF FOR THE NEXT WEEK ON WORK EXPERIENCE.

LOUISA: OH, WERE YOU THINKING OF BEING A TEACHER?

WELL, IF YOU’D LIKE TO SPEND THE WEEK AT THE SCHOOL, I’M SURE THAT COULD BE ARRANGED.

PETER: NO.

LOUISA: OK. PETER: I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR.

LOUISA: OH, THAT’S NICE.

PETER: I WOULD LIKE TO WORK IN DR. ELLINGHAM’S SURGERY AND FIND OUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A GENERAL PRACTITIONER.

I’VE OUTLINED MY REQUEST IN THE LETTER.

LOUISA: AND YOU’D LIKE ME TO GIVE THIS TO MARTIN BECAUSE YOU THINK I’D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF PERSUADING HIM?

PETER: IF ANYONE CAN, I’M SURE IT’S YOU.

PLEASE.

LOUISA: UM, WELL, I CAN’T PROMISE ANYTHING, BUT I WILL ASK.

PETER: GREAT.

UH, THANK YOU, MISS GLASSON.

LOUISA: IT’S MRS. ELLINGHAM.

OH, GOOD MORNING, JESSY.

YOU’RE BRIGHT AND EARLY.

MR. BAWDEN: MORNING.

LOUISA: GOOD MORNING.

A LITTLE TOO EARLY, ACTUALLY.

MR. BAWDEN: YEAH, SORRY ABOUT THIS.

I--I GOT TO SHOW A PROPERTY IN PLYMOUTH.

LOUISA: HM.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, JESSY?

MR. BAWDEN: OH, SHE’S FINE.

LOUISA: SURE?

MR. BAWDEN: JUST A BIT SLEEPY IS ALL.

UH, MY WIFE’S LOOKING AFTER HER MOTHER IN PADSTOW AT THE MOMENT.

ARE YOU SURE SHE CAN’T COME INSIDE?

LOUISA: WELL, IF SHE GOES TO THE LIBRARY AND READS A BOOK VERY QUIETLY, I’LL KEEP AN EYE ON HER, BUT LET’S NOT MAKE THIS A HABIT, OK?

MR. BAWDEN: OK. OK. LOUISA: COME ON, JESSY.

MR. BAWDEN: OFF YOU GO.

GO ON.

LOUISA: COME ON, JESSY.

THERE WE GO.

ALL RIGHT, JESSY.

SO WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR BOOK BAG TODAY?

MR. JARVIS: MY SYMPTOMS?

YES.

MARTIN: YES?

MR. JARVIS: YES, I HAVE SYMPTOMS.

MARTIN: HOW DOES YOUR DEPRESSION MANIFEST ITSELF?

MR. JARVIS: OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL A BIT...SAD.

MARTIN: WELL, THERE’S NOTHING IN YOUR NOTES ABOUT DEPRESSION.

MR. JARVIS: CONSTANT ANXIETY, YES, THAT’S IT.

AND I’M ALWAYS, UM, WORRIED ABOUT STUFF.

MARTIN: WHAT TYPE OF STUFF?

MR. JARVIS: WELL, YOU KNOW, USUAL STUFF THAT DEPRESSED PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT.

AND I CAN’T LEAVE MY HOUSE OR ANYTHING.

MARTIN: AND YET YOU’RE HERE?

MR. JARVIS: OH, I’M HAVING A GOOD DAY.

SO HOW ABOUT SOME OF THAT SERI--UH--TONIN?

MARTIN: THERE IS NO SUCH DRUG AS "SERITONIN," IF THAT’S WHAT YOUR REFERRING TO.

THERE ARE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS KNOWN AS SSRIs THAT BOOST THE LEVEL OF SEROTONIN IN THE BRAIN.

MR. JARVIS: OH, WELL, I’LL HAVE SOME OF THEM, THEN, PLEASE.

MARTIN: NO, YOU WON’T, BECAUSE I’M ALREADY TREATING YOU FOR GLAUCOMA, AND ANTIDEPRESSANTS EXACERBATE THAT CONDITION.

MR. JARVIS: HOW ABOUT SOME VALIUM, THEN?

MARTIN: NO.

IT IS MY CLINICAL JUDGMENT THAT YOU ARE NOT DEPRESSED AT ALL.

NOW, YOU’RE ALREADY TAKING BETA BLOCKERS AND STATINS.

ARE YOU TAKING THE BETA BLOCKERS I PRESCRIBED YOU?

MR. JARVIS: OF COURSE I AM.

LOVE THEM.

OH, BUT I NEED SOME MORE.

THAT’S RIGHT.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

WELL, I’LL RENEW YOUR PRESCRIPTION FOR BETA BLOCKERS, AND LET’S REVIEW THE SITUATION IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS, SHALL WE?

MR. JARVIS: COULDN’T I HAVE SOME ANTIDEPRESSANTS WHILE YOU’RE AT IT?

MARTIN: NO.

MRS. TISHELL: ♪ DEAR LORD AND FATHER OF MY LIFE... ♪ I’LL JUST BE WITH YOU IN A TICK.

CLIVE: SAL?

MRS. TISHELL: CLIVE?

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME.

CLIVE: I KNOW.

I’M SORRY.

MRS. TISHELL: NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO.

IT’S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME.

CLIVE: WELL, I WENT BACK ON THE RIGS.

I HAD TO THINK ABOUT US.

MRS. TISHELL: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

CLIVE: WELL, I THINK WE OUGHT TO GIVE IT ANOTHER GO.

MRS. TISHELL: YOU DO?

CLIVE: WE’RE STILL MARRIED, AREN’T WE?

HUSBANDS AND WIVES SHOULD STICK TOGETHER.

MRS. TISHELL: WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB?

CLIVE: OH, I GAVE IT UP.

I THOUGHT I COULD HELP YOU OUT AROUND HERE.

MRS. TISHELL: HELP ME?

CLIVE: IN THE SHOP.

WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.

TEAM TISHELL!

MRS. TISHELL: TEAM TISHELL?

YOU NEVER ONCE VISITED ME IN ALL THOSE MONTHS I WAS AWAY IN THAT CONVALESCENT HOME, EVEN THOUGH I SENT YOU THE ADDRESS, WITH DIRECTIONS, AND BEGGED YOU TO COME AND SEE ME, AND YOU KNEW IT WASN’T MY FAULT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

WE’RE CLOSED!

BERT: ALL RIGHT, BOY.

AL: RUTH’S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU BEING HERE, BUT YOU CAN’T STAY FOREVER.

BERT: GOTCHA.

AL: WELL, PARK IT IN THE WOODS WHERE NO ONE WILL SEE YOU.

BERT: I OWE YOU, SON.

AL: YOU DO.

MARTIN: ALL RIGHT.

I’M GOING TO GO NOW.

LOUISA: OH, ACTUALLY, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

MARTIN: YES.

LOUISA: DO YOU REMEMBER PETER CRONK?

MARTIN: ASTHMATIC MOTHER, TRIED TO DEEP FRY HER ARM.

YES.

LOUISA: TO YOU, FROM PETER.

HE WANTS TO SHADOW YOU IN THE SURGERY.

HE WANTS TO BE A DOCTOR.

MARTIN: UH, THAT WOULD BE UNNECESSARILY DISRUPTIVE.

LOUISA: YEAH, YEAH, I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE A PROBLEM WITH PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY.

AND HE’LL GET UNDER YOUR FEET AND ASK ENDLESS QUESTIONS THAT WILL IRRITATE YOU.

MARTIN: AND NOT TO MENTION THE INCONVENIENCE.

LOUISA: YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.

DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

IT’S FINE.

MARTIN: HOWEVER, IF YOU TELL HIM TO COME AND SEE ME FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING BEFORE SURGERY, THEN I WILL DISCUSS IT WITH HIM.

LOUISA: REALLY?

MARTIN: YES.

HE’S GOT A MODICUM OF INTELLIGENCE, AND HE’S RESOURCEFUL.

A BIT OF GUIDANCE AND ENCOURAGEMENT WOULDN’T BE OUT OF PLACE.

LOUISA: GREAT.

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

MARTIN: YES.

LOUISA: GREAT.

WELL, I’LL LET HIM KNOW, THEN.

MARTIN: YOUR DRESS IS LOVELY.

LOUISA: OH, THANK YOU, MARTIN.

MARTIN: YOU’RE WELCOME.

LOUISA: YOU SEEM REALLY COMMITTED TO THIS THERAPY.

MARTIN: YES.

UM... AND NOW IT’S YOUR TURN.

LOUISA: THAT WAS MY TURN.

YOU ARE, AREN’T YOU?

COMMITTED?

MARTIN: UM, YES.

LOUISA: DO YOU THINK IT’S GOING TO WORK?

MARTIN: WELL, I THINK THAT COUNSELING CAN HAVE POSITIVE BENEFITS, YES.

LOUISA: GOOD.

MARTIN: HM.

RIGHT.

WELL, I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

LOUISA: ARE YOU OK?

MARTIN: JUST SEEMS ODD TO LEAVE.

GOOD NIGHT.

LOUISA: GOOD NIGHT.

MARTIN: IF ANY OF THE PATIENTS OBJECTS TO YOUR PRESENCE, FOR WHATEVER REASON, THEN YOU WILL LEAVE.

PETER: OK. MARTIN: YOU WILL NOT TALK TO THE PATIENTS.

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

PETER: UNDERSTOOD.

MARTIN: YOU WILL NOT TOUCH THE PATIENTS.

YOU WILL NOT DISCUSS THESE CONSULTATIONS WITH ANYONE.

PETER: CAN I WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU TELL THEM?

MARTIN: NO.

PETER: CAN I DISCUSS CONSULTATIONS WITH YOU?

MARTIN: YES, IF YOU THINK IT WILL IMPROVE YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

PETER: THEN I’M READY TO START MY MEDICAL TRAINING.

CAN I START NOW?

MARTIN: YES.

PETER: WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO FIRST?

MARTIN: TAKE THOSE BAGS OUT OF HERE.

PETER: UM, AND THEN CAN WE DISCUSS VARIOUS MEDICATIONS AND THEIR EFFECTS AND CONTRA-INDICATIONS?

MARTIN: NO.

THEN I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO USE THE SPHYGMOMANOMETER.

AL: I’VE BROUGHT YOU SOME BREAKFAST.

YOU ALL RIGHT, DAD?

BERT: OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

JUST PONDERING, SON.

AL: THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

HEH HEH!

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE IN THIS THING?

BERT: SNUG AS A BUG.

AL: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, THEN?

BERT: OH, DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT, BOY.

I’VE GOT MY NEXT VENTURE ALL PLANNED.

AL: ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER CRACK AT PLUMBING?

BERT: OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NEVER LOOK BACK.

I GOT MY EYES TARGETED RIGHT ON THE HORIZON.

AL: YEAH, BUT YOU’VE ALREADY GOT THE TOOLS, SO-- BERT: YEAH, BUT THIS TIME, I THINK I’VE FOUND MY POT OF GOLD.

AL: WHAT’S THAT, THEN?

BERT: I’M PLAYING IT CLOSE TO MY CHEST.

AL: OK. WELL, THE NEXT GUESTS ARE BOOKED IN.

I’VE GOT A LOT TO DO.

BUT, UM, ARE YOU SURE I CAN’T, UH, LEND YOU A 10 OR... BERT: MONEY’S NOT A PROBLEM, BUT HAVE YOU GOT A 20 IN THERE?

MARTIN: THE BOTTOM OF THE CUFF SHOULD BE AN INCH ABOVE YOUR ANTECUBITAL FOSSA.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] MORWENNA: DOC, I’VE GOT AN EMERGENCY.

MARTIN: UH, TAKE A SEAT.

TOM: I JUST BOUGHT MY SON HIS FIRST FISHING ROD.

HE WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO USING IT.

MARTIN: AHEM.

PETER: UH, DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BLOOD PROBLEM?

MARTIN: BE QUIET.

UH, UH, GO OVER TO THE EXAMINATION TABLE.

GET HIM A CHAIR.

SIT DOWN.

PUT YOUR ARM ON THE TABLE.

[CLEARS THROAT] HOLD YOUR HAND STILL.

TOM: IT WAS HIS FIRST CAST.

HE DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS STILL HOLDING THE HOOK.

MARTIN: IN THE TOP CUPBOARD CLOSEST TO THE SINK ON THE FIRST SHELF IS A BLACK ZIP-UP HOLDALL.

TOM: IS THIS GOING TO HURT?

MARTIN: YES.

PETER: UH, THE DOCTOR IS PREPARING A LOCAL ANESTHETIC.

HE’LL INJECT YOU ON BOTH SIDES OF THE THUMB TO SHUT DOWN THE NERVES.

TOM: WHO’S HE?

MARTIN: WORK EXPERIENCE.

PETER: BUT AM I RIGHT?

MARTIN: YES, YOU ARE.

PETER: WELL, CAN I DO IT?

MARTIN: NO.

KEEP YOUR HANDS STILL.

TOM: WHAT ARE THOSE FOR?

MARTIN: TO CUT OFF THE HOOK.

COVER YOUR EYES.

NOW I’M GOING TO PULL THE HOOK THROUGH YOUR THUMB.

TOM: OH, GOD.

I THINK I MIGHT FAINT.

MARTIN: DON’T.

PETER: WILL IT NEED STITCHES?

MARTIN: NO, A PLASTER WILL DO.

PETER: WELL, CAN I PUT ON A PLASTER, THEN?

MARTIN: NO.

PETER: I’M SURE THE PATIENT WON’T MIND.

TOM: I WOULD, ACTUALLY.

PETER: WELL, I’M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE.

MARTIN: WELL, TIDY THIS LOT UP, THEN.

LOUISA: UM, EXCUSE ME.

SILLY BEHAVIOR OVER HERE.

CAN WE STOP THAT, PLEASE?

THANK YOU.

PLAY NICELY.

MISS GRAPPY, I BELIEVE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SUPERVISING THE CHILDREN, NOT TEXTING.

MISS GRAPPY: YEAH, THE THING IS, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TEACHING NEXT WEEK, SO... LOUISA: OH.

MISS GRAPPY: I WAS THINKING, UM, COULD I TAKE THE KIDS OUT LATER?

LOUISA: YES.

THAT’S A GREAT IDEA, REALLY SHOWS INITIATIVE.

MISS GRAPPY: THANKS.

LOUISA: TELL YOU WHAT, LET’S TAKE THE SCIENCE LESSON UP TO ROSSTREE FIELD.

MISS GRAPPY: GREAT!

LOUISA: I’LL COME WITH YOU, AND YOU’LL TURN YOUR PHONE OFF.

PETER: AH, MELISSA.

MORWENNA: MORWENNA.

PETER: HERE’S WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO.

THE NOTES FOR A PATIENT AREN’T WHERE THEY’RE MEANT TO BE, NAMELY, ON DR. ELLINGHAM’S DESK.

MORWENNA: WHAT?

PETER: CAN YOU LOCATE THEM AND GIVE THEM TO ME SO I CAN PASS THEM ON TO DR. ELLINGHAM?

UH, NOW, THE NAME OF THE PATIENT IS MARY PATTINSON.

THAT’S P-A-T-T-I-- MORWENNA: I CAN SPELL HER NAME.

PETER: AND YET YOU CAN’T LOCATE HER FILE?

MORWENNA: I WILL FETCH IT IN A MINUTE.

PETER: WELL, DOC NEEDS IT STAT.

MORWENNA: "STAT"?

WHAT DOES "STAT" MEAN?

PETER: IT’S AN ABBREVIATION OF THE LATIN WORD "STATIM," MEANING "IMMEDIATELY."

MORWENNA: WELL, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY "IMMEDIATELY"?

I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD YOU, THEN.

PETER: WE ALWAYS USE THE TERM "STAT" TO SAVE TIME.

MORWENNA: HASN’T REALLY WORKED ON THIS OCCASION, HAS IT?

AND WHO’S "WE"?

PETER: ALL THOSE OF US WORKING IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION.

MORWENNA: UH, YEAH, BUT YOU’RE NOT A PROFESSIONAL, ARE YOU?

BECAUSE YOU’RE WORKING HERE FOR FREE.

PETER: RIGHT.

WELL, IF YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED, I’LL FIND THEM MYSELF.

MORWENNA: OY!

DON’T YOU EVER, EVER TOUCH MY FILING SYSTEM.

IF YOU DO, YOU’LL BE NEEDING MEDICAL ASSISTANCE YOURSELF... STAT.

MRS. TISHELL: HE WANTS TO TRY AGAIN!

RUTH: I’M SORRY?

MRS. TISHELL: CLIVE--MY, UH, UH--CLIVE.

HE’S BACK!

RUTH: CLIVE?

MRS. TISHELL: YES.

RUTH: HAS RETURNED?

MRS. TISHELL: YES, BOOM!

AND HE WANTS US TO GET BACK TOGETHER.

RUTH: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU SEEM A LITTLE AGITATED.

MRS. TISHELL: WELL, I DON’T--I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE MAN IS THINKING.

RUTH: WELL, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD ASK HIM?

MRS. TISHELL: AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE WANTS TO BE MY ASSISTANT IN THE SHOP.

WELL, I--I--I DON’T THINK THAT’S A GOOD IDEA.

DO YOU?

RUTH: WELL, THAT’S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.

YOU KNOW, I THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF YOU AND CLIVE HAD A FRANK CONVERSATION ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE DECIDING ANYTHING.

MRS. TISHELL: ABOUT WHERE IT’S GONE ON IN THE PAST AND WHERE WE ARE GOING IN THE FUTURE, AND WHETHER IT’S APART OR TOGETHER, AND IF IT’S TOGETHER, HOW WE WILL DO THAT?

RUTH: YES, EXACTLY.

MRS. TISHELL: THANK YOU.

CLIVE: WILL THIS BE EVERYTHING?

WOMAN: YES, THANK YOU.

MRS. TISHELL: WHAT ON-- I’LL TAKE OVER NOW.

CLIVE: NO NEED, MY DEAR.

EVERYTHING’S IN HAND.

MRS. TISHELL: THANK YOU, CLIVE.

HE ISN’T LICENSED.

WILL THERE BE ANYTHING ELSE?

WOMAN: I THINK THAT’S EVERYTHING.

MRS. TISHELL: £3.20, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CUSTOM, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD DAY.

YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK, CLIVE.

CLIVE: OK. MRS. TISHELL: YOU JUST WALTZED BACK INTO MY LIFE AFTER ALL THIS TIME AS IF EVERYTHING WAS THE SAME.

CLIVE: YES, I SUPPOSE I DID.

MRS. TISHELL: DIDN’T IT OCCUR TO YOU TO ASK HOW I FELT ABOUT THAT?

CLIVE: WELL, TO BE HONEST, I WAS SCARED WHAT ANSWER I’D GET.

MRS. TISHELL: I’M NOT THE WOMAN I WAS, CLIVE.

I MAY LOOK YOUNG AND CAREFREE, BUT I’VE CHANGED.

CLIVE: OK. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT, SAL?

MRS. TISHELL: I’M SAYING I’M NOT THE WOMAN YOU MARRIED.

CLIVE: NO, BUT I’D MARRY YOU TODAY ALL OVER AGAIN.

MRS. TISHELL: WELL... CLIVE: I’M HERE FOR YOU, SAL.

IF YOU’LL HAVE ME.

MRS. TISHELL: WELL, WE’LL JUST HAVE TO SEE HOW IT GOES, THEN.

YOU’LL HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA FOR NOW.

WOMAN: AND YOU’RE 100% SURE IT’S IT’S NOT CATCHING?

MARTIN: YES.

PATIENT: THANK YOU, DOC.

PETER: I SEE YOU PREVIOUSLY PRESCRIBED THE PATIENT ESCITALOPRAM.

WAS THAT BECAUSE OF HER PANIC ATTACKS?

MARTIN: DON’T LOOK AT THE PATIENT’S NOTES.

PETER: YOU DIDN’T SAY I COULDN’T.

MARTIN: WELL, I’M TELLING YOU NOW.

PETER: IS ESCITALOPRAM MORE EFFECTIVE THAN A BENZODIAZEPINE?

MARTIN: NOT NECESSARILY.

BENZODIAZEPINES ARE BETTER OVER A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

PETER: HOW SHORT A PERIOD?

MARTIN: 2 TO 4 WEEKS.

PETER: AND IS THAT BECAUSE THE PATIENT CAN--CAN BECOME DEPENDENT?

MARTIN: YES.

CAN YOU TELL MORWENNA THAT I DON’T MAKE HOUSE VISITS?

PETER: UH, SURE.

DR. ELLINGHAM WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU HAVE ARRANGED A HOME VISIT FOR THIS PATIENT.

MORWENNA: EXCUSE ME?

PETER: WASN’T I CLEAR?

MORWENNA: OK, LITTLE MAN, YOU CAN TELL THE DOCTOR THAT SHE’S JUST HAD HER VARICOSE VEINS STRIPPED OUT, SO SHE CAN’T VERY WELL GET THE BUS.

MARTIN: I THOUGHT THAT WAS MRS. KELLOWAY.

MORWENNA: YOU DON’T HAVE A MRS. KELLOWAY.

YOU HAVE A MRS. KELLEHER, AND YOU’RE GOING TO SEE HER NOW.

MARTIN: GET MY BAG.

[CLEARS THROAT] PETER: WE WON’T BE LONG.

PENHALE: JANICE.

JANICE: HELLO, JOE.

PENHALE: I’M AFRAID I’M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK TO SEE YOUR BUGGY LICENSE.

JANICE: WHAT, YOU GOING TO CLOCK ME FOR SPEEDING?

PENHALE: I’M MANNING THIS MOBILE CHECKPOINT.

I’VE SET MYSELF A TARGET OF TWO FIXED PENALTY NOTICES PER DAY.

IF I APPREHEND SOMEONE ON THE PHONE BEHIND THE WHEEL, OR IF NORMAN’S DRIVING HIS TRACTOR BACK FROM THE PUB, I’LL BE KNOCKING OFF EARLY.

HEH HEH HEH!

OH, STAND BACK.

I THINK I’VE GOT A LIVE ONE HERE.

BERT: OH, BUGGER!

PENHALE: ZERO.

I’VE WARNED YOU ABOUT TAKING THIS VAN ON THE ROAD, MR. LARGE, IT’S NOT ROADWORTHY.

BERT: I’VE BEEN FIXING IT UP, JOE, HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE TO GET THROUGH EVERYTHING.

PENHALE: THIS TIRE’S STILL BALD, I SEE.

BERT: I’VE GOT A SPARE ONE.

PENHALE: GREAT.

IN THE BACK, IS IT?

I’LL GIVE YOU A HAND, THEN.

BERT: NO, IT’S UNDER ALL THIS STUFF.

I’M FULLY LOADED HERE, JOE.

PENHALE: NOT A PROBLEM.

I CAN BENCH PRESS 60 KILOS.

BERT: THANK YOU, JOE, BUT MY INSURANCE WON’T COVER YOU IF YOU STRAIN SOMETHING.

PENHALE: ALL RIGHT, THEN.

WELL, CHANGE IT A.S.A.P., OTHERWISE THERE WILL BE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.

BERT: ROGER.

I’LL JUST BE ON MY WAY, THEN.

PENHALE: HOLD ON, BERT.

UNTIL YOU CAN SHOW ME A VALID M.O.T.

CERTIFICATE, YOU’RE GOING NOWHERE IN THIS DEATHTRAP.

BERT: I TELL YOU WHAT, JOE.

WHY DON’T I DRIVE IT BACK TO AL’S PLACE, EH?

I PROMISE I WON’T TAKE IT OUT UNTIL IT’S ROADWORTHY.

SAVE YOU THE BOTHER OF TOWING ME AWAY.

PENHALE: ALL RIGHT, THEN.

STRAIGHT BACK, THOUGH.

AND LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU.

BERT: THANK YOU, OFFICER.

JANICE: IMPRESSIVE.

PENHALE: THE IRON FIST OF THE LAW HAS A SOFT CENTER.

JANICE: GIVE US A GO ON YOUR GUN?

PENHALE: MM-HMM.

[JANICE GIGGLES] WHAT DO I NEED... [GIGGLES] LOUISA: ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE HAS A PARTNER?

CHILDREN: YES, MISS.

LOUISA: EVERYBODY HOLD YOUR PARTNER’S HANDS AND DON’T LET GO UNTIL WE’RE AWAY FROM THE ROADS, OK?

CHILDREN: YES, MISS.

BARNEY: UHH!

JESSY: MISS GRAPPY, BARNEY WON’T HOLD MY HAND.

BARNEY: IT’S GROSS.

JESSY: IT IS NOT!

BARNEY: IS!

MISS GRAPPY: BARNEY, IT’S NOT GROSS TO HOLD A GIRL’S HAND.

ONE DAY YOU’LL ENJOY IT.

LOUISA: OFF WE GO.

OK?

GIRL: YEAH.

MRS. KELLEHER: AHH.

GENTLY, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

MARTIN: WELL, STOP MOVING, THEN.

MRS. SIMMONS: SHALL I FETCH SOME TEA?

MRS. KELLEHER: I TOLD YOU, NOBODY WANTS TEA.

THESE STITCHES ARE LOOSENING, RIGHT?

MARTIN: NO, OF COURSE THEY’RE NOT.

I’LL CHANGE THE DRESSING.

YOU’LL NEED TO KEEP THE BANDAGES ON YOUR LEGS FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF DAYS.

MRS. SIMMONS: BIT OF A DRAFT IN HERE.

MRS. KELLEHER: MRS. SIMMONS, PLEASE STOP FLOATING ABOUT.

[WINDOW SLAMS SHUT] OH, FOR GOD’S SAKE!

I SHOULD HAVE SACKED HER YEARS AGO.

MRS. SIMMONS: I’LL JUST PUT THIS OVER HERE BY THE-- MARTIN: PUT THAT DOWN!

MRS. KELLEHER: NOW, LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!

MARTIN: GET THAT WOMAN OUT OF HERE.

PETER: UH, WHY DON’T WE GO TO THE KITCHEN?

MRS. SIMMONS: OH, WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF TEA?

PETER: AH, YES.

THANK YOU.

ALL: MY VERY EXCELLENT MOTHER, JOY, SERVES UP NUGGETS.

BARNEY: COME ON.

JESSY: MY FEET HURT.

MISS GRAPPY: WE’RE NEARLY THERE.

JESSY: I’M TIRED, MISS.

CAN WE STOP?

MISS GRAPPY: STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE.

YOU’VE BEEN EATING SWEETS.

JESSY: NO, I HAVEN’T.

MISS GRAPPY: YOU KNOW THE RULE.

JESSY: BUT I HAVEN’T!

MISS GRAPPY: SHUSH.

LOUISA: MISS GRAPPY, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

MISS GRAPPY: IT’S FINE.

I’VE GOT IT SORTED.

LOUISA: COME ON.

MISS GRAPPY: COME ON.

ALL: MY VERY EXCELLENT MOTHER... MRS. SIMMONS: AHH.

PETER: WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOUR WRIST?

MRS. SIMMONS: IT’S GETTING BIGGER ALL THE TIME.

PETER: IT’S A CYST.

I COULD PERFORM A SIMPLE PROCEDURE TO GET RID OF IT.

MRS. SIMMONS: WHAT?

PETER: I CAN DO IT RIGHT HERE.

I--I JUST NEED A HEAVY BOOK.

MRS. SIMMONS: ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

OH, YOU’RE VERY YOUNG.

PETER: I’VE JUST STARTED MY PRELIMINARY TRAINING WITH DR. ELLINGHAM.

MRS. SIMMONS: OH.

MRS. KELLEHER: OH!

YOU KNOW YOU’RE STILL HURTING ME?

MARTIN: YES.

[MRS. SIMMONS SCREAMING] MRS. KELLEHER: OH, WHAT NOW?

[MRS. SIMMONS SOBBING] MARTIN: WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON?

PETER: OH, NOTHING.

MRS. SIMMONS: HE HIT ME!

MARTIN: WHAT?

PETER: WELL, NO, SHE HAD A GANGLION CYST ON HER WRIST, AND I GAVE IT A BASH TO BREAK IT DOWN.

MARTIN: GO AND WAIT IN THE CAR.

PETER: WHAT?

MARTIN: NOW.

LET ME SEE.

MRS. SIMMONS: OOH!

AH!

MARTIN: SHH.

IT’S NOT BROKEN.

MRS. SIMMON: OHH.

MARTIN: I GAVE YOU SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO BEHAVE WITH MY PATIENTS--NO TOUCHING AND NO TALKING--AND YOU IGNORED ME.

IT’S COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

PETER: I DIDN’T IGNORE WHAT YOU SAID.

I--I MERELY USED MY INITIATIVE.

MARTIN: WELL, DON’T.

PETER: AND I GOT RID OF THE CYST.

MARTIN: NOBODY USES THAT TECHNIQUE ANYMORE.

PETER: WELL, THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT ISN’T STILL EFFECTIVE.

MARTIN: SHUT UP.

YOUR WORK EXPERIENCE IS TERMINATED.

I’LL DROP YOU IN THE VILLAGE.

PETER: BUT I NEED TO PICK UP MY SHOPPING FROM THE SURGERY.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

[BEEP] LOUISA: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

SO, STARTING FROM HERE, LILA, YOU’RE JUPITER, AND YOU’RE GOING TO CIRCLE ALL THESE PLANETS AND THE SUN.

UH, NEPTUNE DOESN’T GO NEXT TO JUPITER, DOES IT, MISS GRAPPY?

MISS GRAPPY: WHAT?

LOUISA: WELL, IT’S--IT’S THE FURTHEST FROM THE SUN.

MRS. GRAPPY: SORRY.

I’VE JUST GOT TO READ THIS.

IT’S ABOUT MY NEXT JOB.

LOUISA: THAT’S NOT GOING TO HELP OUR SOLAR SYSTEM, NOW, IS IT?

JESSY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, THERE?

JESSY: I DON’T FEEL WELL.

LOUISA: NO, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.

YEAH, I THINK WE OUGHT TO TAKE YOU HOME.

JESSY: THERE’S NO ONE THERE.

LOUISA: ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU COME OVER HERE AND SIT DOWN AND REST.

YEAH?

ALL RIGHT, SIT DOWN.

THAT’S IT, AND I’LL GET YOU SOME WATER.

CAN ANYONE TELL ME THE NAME OF THE NEXT PLANET AFTER JUPITER?

BARNEY: IS IT SATURN?

LOUISA: YES, BARNEY.

IT IS SATURN.

SO YOU’RE GOING TO MEASURE OUT THE DISTANCE FROM JUPITER.

NOW, DOES ANYONE, APART FROM BARNEY, KNOW HOW FAR IT IS FROM SATURN TO THE SUN?

BARNEY: MISS, WHAT’S WRONG WITH JESSY?

LOUISA: JESSY?

JESSY?

HEY, JESSY.

JESSY.

SWEETIE.

BARNEY: IS SHE DEAD, MISS?

LOUISA: NO.

NO, NO.

SHE’S NOT DEAD.

I’M JUST GOING TO MAKE A-- A LITTLE PHONE CALL.

JUST A MOMENT.

BARNEY: ARE YOU SURE SHE’S NOT DEAD?

LOUISA: NO, SHE’S DEFINITELY NOT DEAD, BARNEY.

HELLO, MORWENNA.

MORWENNA: DOC, PHONE CALL.

MARTIN: I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERRUPT ME.

MORWENNA: IT’S LOUISA.

THERE’S AN EMERGENCY.

MARTIN: OH.

UM, ALL RIGHT.

OUT OF THE WAY!

MR. JARVIS: I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD HAVE A PRESCRIPTION FOR MY-- MARTIN: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!

MR. JARVIS: FOR MY--MY--MY DEPRESSION THING.

LOUISA: WAKE UP, JESSY.

BARNEY: ARE YOU SURE SHE’S NOT DEAD?

LOUISA: SHE’S JUST NOT FEELING VERY WELL, BARNEY.

THE DOCTOR’S COMING.

MISS GRAPPY: I’VE LEFT A MESSAGE WITH HER MUM.

HER DAD’S NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE.

LOUISA: WELL, JUST KEEP TRYING.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE VIGILANT.

MISS GRAPPY: SHE SAID SHE WAS TIRED.

I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST MESSING ABOUT.

LOUISA: THESE CHILDREN ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

MISS GRAPPY: WELL, YOU DIDN’T SPOT IT, EITHER.

MARTIN: OUT OF THE WAY.

CAREFUL.

LOUISA: SHE COLLAPSED.

I CAN’T ROUSE HER.

I THINK SHE’S GOT A FEVER.

MARTIN: WHAT WAS SHE DOING WHEN SHE COLLAPSED?

MISS GRAPPY: SHE WAS BEING PLUTO.

MARTIN: WHAT?

WAS SHE EXERTING HERSELF?

LOUISA: NO, NOT AT ALL.

SHE SAID SHE WASN’T FEELING VERY WELL.

SHE SAT DOWN AND COLLAPSED.

MARTIN: HER TONGUE’S RED.

MISS GRAPPY: SHE’S BEEN EATING SWEETS.

MARTIN: THERE’S MORE TO THIS CONDITION THAN EATING SWEETS.

WHY DIDN’T YOU NOTICE THAT HER LIPS ARE DRY AND FLAKY?

LOUISA: BECAUSE I’M NOT A DOCTOR, MARTIN.

I’M FEELING BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS.

MISS GRAPPY: IT’S JUST SUNSTROKE.

SHE’S JUST A BIT OF SUNSTROKE, RIGHT?

MARTIN: SHE DOESN’T GOT SUNSTROKE.

THE CHILD’S GOT KAWASAKI DISEASE.

IT’S VERY RARE AND POTENTIALLY FATAL.

BARNEY: WILL THERE BE A FUNERAL?

LOUISA: SHE’S NOT GOING TO DIE, BARNEY.

MARTIN: UH, WELL, SHE MIGHT.

THERE IS A SIGNIFICANT RISK OF A CORONARY ARTERY ANEURYSM, NOT TO MENTION A HEART ATTACK.

LOUISA: YEAH.

THANKS.

THANK YOU, MARTIN.

MARTIN: UH, THIS IS DR. ELLINGHAM, PORTWENN.

I NEED AN AMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY FOR AN UNCONSCIOUS CHILD.

LOUISA: OK, EVERYBODY LISTEN TO ME.

JESSY IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.

MARTIN: THE LOCATION IS ROSSTREE FIELDS.

LOUISA: AND JESSY’S NOT IN ANY DANGER.

MARTIN: WELL, IF YOU CAN’T DO IT IN UNDER 30 MINUTES, THEN SHE MAY DIE.

[CHILDREN GASP] SHH.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, CANCEL THE AMBULANCE.

I’LL BRING HER IN MYSELF.

IDIOTS.

COME ON.

LOUISA: I DON’T THINK SHE’S DOING VERY WELL, MARTIN.

MARTIN: HOW’S HER PULSE?

LOUISA: UM...I DON’T KNOW.

I CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING.

MARTIN: CHECK HER CAROTID ARTERY.

LOUISA: WHAT?

MARTIN: HERE, ON HER NECK.

LOUISA: NO, I--I CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING.

UM, RAPID.

IT’S--IT’S RAPID.

NURSE: DR. ELLINGHAM?

MARTIN: YES?

WHERE’S THE CARDIOLOGIST?

NURSE: HE’S MEETING US IN RESUS.

MARTIN: RIGHT.

LET’S GET HER THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

WHERE’S THE DOCTOR?

NURSE: I’LL FIND OUT.

MARTIN: GET ME A SUB LINGUAL ASPIRIN.

NURSE: SHOULDN’T I-- MARTIN: NO, JUST GET ME A SUB LINGUAL ASPIRIN.

LOUISA: WHY DOES SHE NEED ASPIRIN?

MARTIN: IT WILL STOP HER BLOOD FROM CLOTTING.

CAN YOU OPEN UP HER SHIRT, PLEASE?

NURSE: HERE.

HE’S JUST FINISHING OFF WITH A HEART ATTACK.

MARTIN: OXYGEN.

39 DEGREES.

LOUISA: MARTIN.

MARTIN: GET A DRIP INTO HER.

DOCTOR: DR. ELLINGHAM.

WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

MARTIN: SHE’S GOT KAWASAKI DISEASE.

SHE LOST CONSCIOUSNESS 25 MINUTES AGO.

SHE’LL NEED INTRAVENOUS IMMUNOGLOBULIN.

DOCTOR: I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE.

MARTIN: NOW.

DOCTOR: THANK YOU, DR. ELLINGHAM.

MARTIN: YES.

LOUISA: WILL SHE BE ALL RIGHT?

MARTIN: YES, SHOULD BE.

MAN: RIGHT.

YES, YES.

MR. BAWDEN: WHERE’S JESSY?

WHAT’S GOING ON?

LOUISA: SHE’S GOING TO BE FINE, ISN’T SHE?

MARTIN: YES.

SHE’S SUFFERING FROM KAWASAKI DISEASE.

MR. BAWDEN: WHAT’S THAT?

MARTIN: IT’S MUCOCUTANEOUS LYMPH NODE SYNDROME.

IT CAUSES THE BLOOD VESSELS TO BECOME INFLAMED.

IF IT’S LEFT UNDETECTED, IT CAN SPREAD TO THE CORONARY ARTERIES.

MR. BAWDEN: HOW DID SHE GET IT?

MARTIN: IT’S COMES FROM AN INFECTION.

AND FRANKLY, I’M APPALLED THAT AS HER FATHER YOU FAILED TO NOTICE THE BLISTERS ON HER STOMACH AND HANDS.

LOUISA: MARTIN.

MR. BAWDEN: I’M WORKING NONSTOP.

MARTIN: YOU HAVE A DUTY OF CARE TO YOUR CHILD.

MR. BAWDEN: YOU’RE RIGHT.

I JUST DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO SPEND WITH HER THAT I SHOULD.

MARTIN: WELL, SOMEBODY SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION.

THIS IS NEGLECT ON A DICKENSIAN SCALE.

LOUISA: NO, HE DOESN’T MEAN THAT EXACTLY.

MARTIN: YES, I DO.

LOUISA: MARTIN.

WHAT ABOUT HER MUM?

MR. BAWDEN: MY WIFE ISN’T WITH US ANYMORE.

LOUISA: OH.

MR. BAWDEN: SHE FOUND SOMEONE SHE PREFERS.

LOUISA: I SEE.

MR. BAWDEN: I’M DOING MY BEST WITH JESSY, BUT IT’S HARD WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN.

WELL, YOU UNDERSTAND.

LOUISA: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

MR. BAWDEN: HAVEN’T YOU TWO... LOUISA: IT’S ONLY TEMPORARY.

MR. JARVIS: EVENING, PETER.

HOW’S YOUR MOTHER?

PETER: YEP.

MR. JARVIS: NO LUCK YESTERDAY.

I’LL TRY AGAIN IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

PETER: RIGHT.

MUM?

OH, MY GOD.

MUM, MUM.

LOUISA: THAT WAS TERRIFYING.

I WONDER IF I WOULD HAVE SPOTTED THAT IN JAMES.

MARTIN: OF COURSE YOU WOULD.

LOUISA: HOW LONG WILL SHE BE OFF SCHOOL?

MARTIN: IT COULD TAKE A MONTH FOR A FULL RECOVERY.

[PHONE RINGING] YES?

MORWENNA: IT’S MORWENNA.

MARTIN: OBVIOUSLY.

MORWENNA: I’VE GOT PETER CRONK ON THE PHONE.

MARTIN: WELL, TELL HIM HE CAN’T COME BACK, AND HE SHOULD STOP RINGING.

MORWENNA: NO, HIS MOTHER’S UNCONSCIOUS.

SHE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS.

MR. JARVIS: SOMETHING UP, DOC?

I--I HEARD PETER SHOUTING ABOUT SOMETHING OR OTHER.

MARTIN: PETER.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] IT’S DR. ELLINGHAM.

PETER: SHE’S IN HERE.

MARTIN: WAS SHE CONSCIOUS WHEN YOU FOUND HER?

PETER: UH, BARELY.

SHE COULDN’T STAND UP.

MARTIN: HAVE YOU CALLED AN AMBULANCE?

PETER: NO, I CALLED YOU.

MARTIN: MRS. CRONK?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

MRS. CRONK: OH, DR. ELLINGHAM.

MARTIN: WHAT HAPPENED?

MRS. CRONK: MY LEGS, I COULDN’T--COULDN’T FEEL THEM.

MARTIN: HAVE YOU BEEN SUFFERING ANY MORE PANIC ATTACKS?

PETER: SHE HARDLY HAS THEM AT ALL NOW.

MARTIN: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU.

HAS YOUR ASTHMA BEEN A PROBLEM SINCE YOU LAST CAME TO SEE ME?

MRS. CRONK: NO, NOT REALLY.

MARTIN: YES, HAVE YOU FALLEN BEFORE?

PETER: NO.

MRS. CRONK: ACTUALLY, I DID HAVE A LITTLE TUMBLE LAST WEEK.

PETER: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THESE THINGS.

IS ANYTHING BROKEN?

MARTIN: NO.

LOUISA: SHALL I CALL AN AMBULANCE?

MRS. CRONK: NO, DON’T.

I’M NOT GOING OUTSIDE.

MARTIN: WHY NOT?

WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE?

SURELY YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE EVERY DAY YOU GO TO WORK.

PETER: SHE WAS MADE REDUNDANT 8 MONTHS AGO.

MARTIN: MRS. CRONK, I THINK THAT YOUR PANIC ATTACKS HAVE ESCALATED INTO SOME SORT OF AGORAPHOBIA, WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE DUE TO THE STRESS OF LOSING YOUR JOB.

MRS. CRONK: PETER, MAKE THEM LEAVE.

I CAN’T HAVE THEM HERE.

PETER: I CAN DEAL WITH THIS.

I SHOULDN’T HAVE CALLED YOU.

SHE’S GETTING BETTER.

MARTIN: I DON’T THINK SHE IS.

MRS. CRONK, CAN YOU CONTROL YOUR BREATHING?

PETER: SHE WAS HAVING PANIC ATTACKS EVERY DAY, AND I’VE GOT IT DOWN TO ONE OR TWO A WEEK.

MARTIN: HOW?

PETER: I DISSOLVE BETA BLOCKERS IN HER TEA.

MARTIN: WHAT?

ARE YOU INSANE?

PETER: I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO WORRY ABOUT THE SIDE EFFECTS.

LOUISA: BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOUR MOTHER TO MARTIN.

PETER: HE’D HAVE CALLED SOCIAL SERVICES.

YOU KNOW, A KID AT MY SCHOOL, HIS MUM WENT TO HOSPITAL, AND THEY TOOK HIM AWAY.

MARTIN: IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED TO SHADOW ME FOR A WEEK, TO GET ACCESS TO THE DRUGS?

PETER: NO, I REALLY DO WANT TO BE A DOCTOR.

MARTIN: SO WHERE DID YOU GET THE BETA BLOCKERS FROM?

PETER: WELL, I DIDN’T STEAL THEM.

I BOUGHT THE TABLETS.

MARTIN: WHO DID YOU BUY THEM FROM?

WHO SOLD YOU THOSE TABLETS?

PETER: MR. JARVIS NEXT DOOR.

LOUISA: MARTIN.

MARTIN: WHAT?

NO, NO.

NO, NO.

DON’T USE THAT IF YOU’RE ALREADY TAKING BETA BLOCKERS!

IT’S USELESS.

PETER: YOU SAID YOU THREW THAT AWAY.

NO, I--I KNOW YOU CAN’T MIX BETA BLOCKERS AND SALBUTAMOL.

ONE OPENS UP THE AIRWAYS, AND THE OTHER CAUSES THE AIRWAYS TO NARROW.

MARTIN: MIXING SALBUTAMOL WITH BETA BLOCKERS INCREASES THE RISK OF A LOW BLOOD-POTASSIUM LEVEL, WHICH CAN LEAD TO MUSCLE WEAKNESS, WHICH MIGHT EXPLAIN WHY YOUR MOTHER’S LEGS GAVE WAY.

PETER: I--I DIDN’T KNOW SHE STILL HAD IT.

MARTIN: YOU TOLD MR. JARVIS TO COME AND SEE ME AND PRETEND TO BE DEPRESSED, DIDN’T YOU?

THEN YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN WHATEVER I PRESCRIBED HIM TO YOUR MOTHER WITHOUT ACTUALLY KNOWING WHAT MEDICATION SHE’S TAKEN.

MRS. CRONK, HAVE YOU TAKEN ANY OTHER DRUG?

PETER: NO, I’M SURE THERE’S NOTHING ELSE.

THAT’S ASPIRIN.

ASPIRIN PREVENTS BLOOD CLOTS FROM FORMING IN THE ARTERIES.

MARTIN: BE QUIET.

IT’S NOT A TUTORIAL.

PETER: RIGHT, WELL, I’M ILLUSTRATING THAT I’M NOT THE COMPLETE IDIOT THAT YOU SEEM TO THINK I AM.

MARTIN: ST. JOHN’S WORT?

PETER: IT’S A HARMLESS HOMEOPATHIC REMEDY OF DUBIOUS VALUE.

I LET MUM TAKE IT FOR THE PLACEBO EFFECT.

MARTIN: IT’S NOT HOMEOPATHIC.

IT’S NATUROPATHIC.

PETER: BUT I BET THAT IT DOESN’T WORK.

MARTIN: IT’S SUCCESSFUL IN ALLEVIATING SOME SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION.

SO WHAT WOULD BE THE RESULT OF MIXING ST. JOHN’S WORT WITH A SELECTIVE SEROTONIN RE-UPTAKE INHIBITOR?

PETER: I’M NOT SURE.

MARTIN: IF I’D PRESCRIBED ANTI-DEPRESSANTS TO THE MAN NEXT DOOR, AND HE’D SOLD THEM TO YOU, AND YOU CRUSHED THEM UP AND PUT THEM IN YOUR MOTHER’S TEA WHILE SHE WAS ALSO TAKING A HARMLESS HOMEOPATHIC REMEDY, THAT WOULD HAVE TIPPED THE SEROTONIN LEVEL IN HER SYSTEM TO A TOXIC DEGREE, WHICH COULD BE FATAL.

IT BEGGARS BELIEF.

MRS. CRONK: IS PETER IN TROUBLE?

LOUISA: NO, I’M SURE HE AND MARTIN ARE JUST HAVING A LITTLE CHAT.

TRY AND RELAX.

IS EVERYTHING OK?

MARTIN: YOUR SON IS COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE.

YOU’RE VERY LUCKY TO BE ALIVE.

HE COULD JUST AS EASILY HAVE KILLED YOU.

MRS. CRONK: DON’T TELL ANYONE.

I’LL GET BETTER.

I KNOW I WILL.

YOU CAN’T LET THEM TAKE HIM AWAY.

LOUISA: NO, NO ONE’S GOING TO TAKE ANYONE AWAY, ARE THEY, MARTIN?

PETER MADE A MISTAKE.

HE’S AN INTELLIGENT BOY, AND HE WON’T MAKE IT AGAIN, WILL YOU?

MARTIN: LISTEN.

IT IS CATEGORICALLY PROHIBITED FOR ANYONE TO ADMINISTER A DRUG TO A PATIENT WITHOUT CORRECT MEDICAL TRAINING, OR ANY MEDICAL TRAINING.

PETER: I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP MY MOTHER.

MARTIN: WELL, YOU CLEARLY DIDN’T MANAGE THAT, AND NOW YOU’VE BROKEN THE LAW.

LOUISA: WELL, MARTIN, I THINK WE CAN ALL SEE THAT HIS INTENTIONS WERE GOOD.

MARTIN: OH, REALLY?

IS THAT THE POINT?

PETER: I’LL STOP.

I WON’T DO IT AGAIN.

I PROMISE.

MARTIN: NO, OF COURSE YOU WON’T DO IT AGAIN.

YOU HAVE COMMITTED A CRIMINAL OFFENSE, AND UNSURPRISINGLY, THE LAW TAKES THAT SORT OF THING EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY.

MR. JARVIS.

LOUISA: MARTIN, WAIT.

ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO REPORT PETER TO THE POLICE?

MARTIN: LOUISA, HE HAS BROKEN THE LAW, AND IT’S A GOOD LAW, MADE FOR A VERY GOOD REASON.

LOUISA: OK, I CAN SEE THAT.

BUT COME ON, MARTIN, HE’S TERRIFIED.

HE’S NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN, IS HE?

MARTIN: NO, HE’S NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.

LOUISA: OH, GREAT.

WELL, THAT’S A GOOD IDEA.

YOU CALL JOE PENHALE, THEN, AND HAVE PETER SLAPPED IN CUFFS.

LOCK HIM UP.

THAT’S THE PERFECT SOLUTION FOR EVERYONE, ISN’T IT?

THAT’LL TEACH HIM.

MARTIN: [SIGH] WELL, I’LL REFER THE WOMAN TO A MENTAL HEALTH SPECIALIST.

PERHAPS PENHALE ISN’T THE RIGHT PERSON IN THIS SITUATION.

I’LL TALK TO JARVIS LATER.

LOUISA: OK. WELL, I’M SURE PETER WON’T DO IT AGAIN.

YOU’VE GIVEN HIM ENOUGH OF A FRIGHT.

MARTIN: IS THIS SPONTANEOUS AFFECTION OR PRESCRIBED?

LOUISA: OH.

MARTIN: WHAT?

LOUISA: I’VE GOT MY RING CAUGHT.

DON’T MOVE.